Rerun
by Trim59
Summary: After Buffy's death, Spike goes back in time to Sunnydale. Armed with new strength and knowledge, he attempts to minimize the amount of deaths that took place, save Sunnydale, and of course...actually get the girl. Initially set in Season 5, for a second time. Rated T for violence, sexual situations, language *SPUFFY*
1. Whiskey

**A/N: Yeah, here a fun story. I knew nothing about BtVS until like last week. I watched like one or two seasons of Angel with my dad when it first came out. We kind of quit…but I saw the "I will remember you" episode and immediately thought that they should be together…with no other knowledge (even though at that point Spuffy was in its infantile phases). That opinion changed once I started watching Buffy but that's besides the point. Random youtube videos…stumble across something buffy…I was like hey this show looks good…hours of downloading seasons later…and watching most episodes (usually skipping to the good parts, mainly buffy/spike)…I'm a Spuffy fan. Oh yeah, I'm a wikipedia wh*** so of course found the buffy wiki and did research on characters…nerdy I know.**

**Anyways, like most viewers and Spuffy shippers, I wasn't really happy with the closure of their relationship. Did some research on the comic…and it blows balls…so if you notice a little bit of subtle bashing on that in this chapter…yeah that's intentional.**

**Anyways, this is my first attempt at BtVS…I still got my cherry and I'm wet behind the ears…so please be gentle with me with the reviews. THANK YOU! **

**-Trim59**

**P.S. -Hopefully I've done enough research and watching that everyone isn't too OOC or I've gotten everything wrong…anyways…please let me know in the reviews…thanks.**

The man sitting at the bar was adorned in a long, black trench coat. Leaning forward, the pale man finished the contents of his glass before placing it back on the bar. Minutes passed by as Spike stared at the slowly melting ice cubes in his now empty glass. Breaking free of his trance, Spike motioned for the bartender to pour him another round.

Once his glass was full, Spike quickly grabbed it. "Thanks mate," he mumbled under his breath.

The barkeep nodded his head with sympathy apparent on his face. This strange man had been sitting at this bar since the relatively slow night began. It was past one in the morning now. A number of people did sit at the bar, alone, and drink away their sorrows. That wasn't all that uncommon. The amount of liquor this man drank was. In fact, this had to be at least his tenth or eleventh round. This man was going to **HATE** himself in the morning.

"Ughh!" Spike spat as he recovered from the first gulp of his newly obtained liquor. Slamming the drink back down on the bar, Spike looked up and made solid eye contact with the bartender for the first time. "You do understand the term _mixed drink_, right?"

Spike laughed internally. He hadn't said more than a few words all night since he started drinking. He had not planned on it being this difficult. He sounded like an adolescent boy with a lisp. He rarely got drunk. The whole being less alive thing, even with a soul, had its up and downs. Actually, the only good thing was his superhuman speed, strength, being harder to kill, and all that jazz.

A soul helped but things still weren't the same as they were in the beginning. Hot wings were, well, hotter than anything else but barely affected his mouth. Hard liquor always seemed watered down. Tylenol barely worked. Spike remembered once the Slayer hit him in the nose so hard it took three days for the bones to heal. He downed an entire bottle of "extra strength" tylenol, and it barely took the edge off.

There he went again thinking about Buffy.

"Huh?" the bartender questioned.

"The drink mate," Spike replied as he concentrated on not sounding drunk. Getting cut off wasn't exactly in his intentions. "It tastes like straight whiskey…not that I'm complaining." Spike paused briefly and took another swig of his drink. After he fought back the after taste, Spike finished his statement. "I rather like the extra bang for my buck."

"But it is straight whiskey," said a higher pitched voice from next to Spike. "You've been drinking it on the rocks all night."

Spike blinked hard as he looked towards the sound and took in a man in his late 40's. The man had been sitting there for over an hour and Spike finally noticed.

"Wait," Spike started, "I wasn't not drinking straight…" Again, Spike paused as he turned his head to the bartender. "Was I?"

"Yeah," The bartender replied as he slowly nodded his head.

Spike shrug his shoulders and cocked his head, accepting the barkeep's answer. Without another word, Spike leaned forward and returned to staring at the glass between his hands.

"You know," the middle aged man said as he scooted over a seat to sit directly next to Spike. "You seem like you got a lot on your mind."

Growing suddenly irritated, Spike let out a sigh before taking another gulp. After a few seconds, he replied, "What makes you think that?"

"You know, when I was your age-"

Spike cut the man off, "You were never my age."

The man laughed at Spike's comment. "How old are you? 29…30?"

Spike gave the man a disinterested look. "Add another zero." The man in his 40's raised an eyebrow with a small smirk, clearly thinking Spike was making a joke. For some reason, Spike decided to correct his answer. "…Then…divide it by two…ish…"

Again, the man chuckled. "Had a few too many did we?"

Irritated, Spike sat up straight in his seat as he turned to face his newest nemesis. "I can handle my alco-" Spike's words fell of as he realized he had hit his drink with his hand, the remaining contents landing on the bar and his crotch.

Intending on looking up to find the bartender, Spike moved his head back on his shoulders as the man was standing directly across from him. "I think you've had enough."

Doing his best not to slur words, Spike tried to explain himself to no avail. Despite his sincerest attempts, getting cut off was in the cards this night. After the man recommended he go home and sleep Spike slammed his hands against the bar. "Bloody hell!"

Making his way out of the bar was immediately halted. Looking down, Spike clenched his jaw as he looked at the middle aged man. Slowly, Spike's vision went from the man, to his arm grabbing onto his trench coat, and back to the man.

"About ten years ago, I would have acted the-" The man started.

"Ten years ago, you would have already been dead," Spike spat, "Just for approaching me…let alone touching me."

Taking a deep breath, Spike felt the irritation and anger subside. Quickly, Spike pulled his arm away. Spike held his breathe as he watch the man go airborne, and land about 15 feet away. Spike rubbed a hand through his hair as he met eyes with the bartender.

"Buddy?!" The bartender yelled as he threw his hands out to his sides

"I didn't mean too…" Spike started as he looked at the man slowly getting to his feet. "You see…he's fine."

The bartender looked away and nodded at someone Spike couldn't see. This wasn't Spike's first rodeo. He knew what was happening.

"Get him out of here." The bartender said.

Spike looked over at the very large man approaching. This whole not slaughtering human things could be a nuisance at times. Giving one last attempt, Spike tried to defend himself, "I just pulled my arm away…he wouldn't let go of my bloody sleeve!"

**RERUN**

Spike landed gracefully on his feet as the bouncer let him go. Regardless, his legs collapsed under him once the weight of his body came onto them. It had to have been the extra muscle the bouncer put into throwing him out, literally, when he could have just let him down. He had to be a supernatural being. There was no other excuse. It couldn't be the whiskey. Whiskey was his best friend anymore. Besides, if he was something…not human…Spike could have his fun throwing the bouncer into the bar, through the front wall of course.

"Really, really," Spike repeated himself as he got up to his feet slowly. Turning around to face the bouncer, Spike stumbled and caught himself. "Was that necessary?"

"No," the bouncer said in a cold tone.

"Exactly!" Spike screamed, throwing his arms out to his sides. Once again, Spike stumbled. "Guess what buddy ole' pal." Spike continued, pointing his finger at the bouncer who was about 10 feet away.

"What?" the bouncer said, still holding his cold and unamused tone.

"I could eat your ass out!" Spike immediately regretted his statement. Somehow, the phrase knock your ass out and eat your ass got combined.

"What?!" the bouncer spat.

"You know what I mean…I could kick your ass!" Spike screamed attempting to correct his statement.

The bouncer shook his head with a confused look on his face. Regardless, his fists were still clenched at his sides in case Spike charged.

"But-But-" Spike said, sticking his lower lip out. Only Spike knew the voice he was doing was his best impression of the Slayer. "It's not the right thing to do…"

"What are you-"

"The chip's out you know!" Spike said, slurring his words badly as he wasn't focused on sounding out any syllable.

"What c-"

"In my brain mate!" Spike screamed, holding his head with both hands. Throwing his hands back to his sides, Spike said, "I could totally bite you." Spike stared blankly at the bouncer, who was slowly becoming two bouncers. He knew it. The bouncer was a demon with supernatural strength. Deep down, he knew he was just drunk.

"Whatever you're on…I don't care," the bouncer said. "But…do NOT come back here."

"I didn't plan on it you sod!" Spike spat, throwing his chin up in the air as he stormed off.

Even though he was drunk, Los Angeles was now Spike's jungle gym. Weaving in and out of alleys, Spike new exactly where he was going. He decided to take the slightly less traveled, darker alleys this night. He didn't really feel like dealing with people, and his reputation was more than known in the city. He really doubted any lurking, evil thing would do more than hide until he passed. Demons weren't normally afraid of vampires, even elder vampires, but Spike was an exception.

Spike paused as his senses were overwhelmed. The scent was familiar. However, he couldn't quite place it. "Same side, love."

Spike stared off into the darkness of the alley, knowing someone was there and hearing them approach. He couldn't tell who it was based off scent, but could tell it was female. He guessed it had to be a slayer.

"Spike," was all that was said as the brunette appeared from the shadows. Spike swallowed back hard as he looked at the old friend.

"Faith…" Spike replied.

Spike stared at Faith, who met eyes with him and didn't say anything else. After a few seconds, he knew. The solemn look on the relatively easy going slayer's face made it easy.

"It's…" Spike started, his voice barely escaping his throat. "It's Buffy?"

**RERUN**

Spike was one of the last few people off the bus. Stepping onto the sidewalk, Spike turned his head around to take in his familiar environment. "Odd…" Spike said, still trying to get his bearings. Walking his normal path through the town, Spike fought back feelings of deja vu as he recognized shops, and even a few people.

"Hey, watch it!"

Spike turned his body to see the college aged man he bumped into. About to mumble a half-hearted apology, Spike did a double take. This kid looked familiar.

"What buddy, do you have a problem?" the younger man spat out as he got into Spike's face.

"Stop calling me buddy." Spike replied.

After a few more seconds of staring at the young man, light bulbs went off in his head. He was just a regular run of the mill vamp, and Spike had staked him years ago. Well…actually it would be months from now. Spike surprised himself. He usually didn't remember faces or names of his countless victims when he was evil. Back then, all his victims were human and he rarely remembered. He almost never remembered a demon he vanquished or a vampire he slayed, especially not one he made quick work of on a normal night patrolling the streets and cemeteries of Sunnydale.

"I said…do you have a problem?!" the young man said again, spit landing on Spike's face.

Quickly wiping away the moisture on his face, Spike growled at the man, "Listen frat boy…enjoy your last few months of humanity…because I'll definitely make sure it's me that stakes you….again!"

"What?!" the man said, a mixture of fear and anger on his face. The look became entirely fear as he watched Spike's face twist into one of a demon. The boy took a step back as he began to panic.

"This," Spike stated, "Is where you run mate." Spike opening his mouth and exposing his teeth was like a starting gun for the man, who turned around and sprinted away. Spike let out a chuckle as his face quickly returned to normal.

**RERUN**

Spike slowly sat on the ground beside her. Taking a swig of his bottle, Spike coughed. "You know," Spike whispered, "We need to quit meeting like this."

Silence was the only reply to Spike's joke. Spike shook his head and fought back stinging at the corner of his eyes. The gravestone was exactly the same, all the way down to the sadistic, dark humor attempt at the bottom. The only difference was the second number below Buffy's name was now 2006 instead of 2001.

"I'm not doing this again love," Spike continued, his words hurting his throat and burning. "I've lost you before…I spent months grieving you."

Spike leaned forward and slowly touched the side of the headstone. "I love you, you know that…I told you right before I left you." Spike did his best not to break down as he took another swig out of the whiskey bottle. "Hell, I've loved you long enough it seems like all I remember….but what was I supposed to do…you didn't even know what you wanted…I mean-"

"Hey," Faith said softly as she approached Spike.

"Hey," Spike replied in a somber voice. Not looking up, Spike continued talking. "How was the burial? I would have went…if it wasn't for the whole bursting into flames thing."

Faith managed a small smirk at his comment. Regardless, it quickly fell off her face. "As good as something like that can go…I guess."

"You know," Faith continued, as she plopped down on the other side of the newly filled grave, "It didn't take me long to find you…not as long as I expected."

"That's why I stayed close, well, kind of. Los Angeles isn't exactly a few exits down the highway." Spike said.

Faith managed another small smirk, knowing attempts at humor were helping Spike keep himself together.

"In case…" Spike looked away from Faith, "Anybody needed to find me."

Faith immediately knew the meaning behind Spike's words. "How…how long has it been since you seen her?"

"Three years," Spike quickly answered. "Since I left San Francisco."

"Wow…" Faith's words drifted off as she placed the notebook she brought with her to her side.

"Everything just got…so bloody stupid," Spike said, anger and pain apparent on his voice.

Faith looked upon her friend, who she never imagined would be one, with sympathy. "What?"

"Every thing after the Hellmouth." Spike spat out. "Next thing I know I'm getting led by arse face into a sure suicide mission…fighting with a hell god on my side this time…with a gay Watcher."

Faith stared down at her feet as she allowed Spike to talk. Spike took another swig of liquor. Quickly, he wiped excess moisture from his mouth and continued.

"Then LA is hell…literally…then it's not…then Buffy is pregnant…then she's not…then she's just a robot…but she ain't…who loves Angel…and loves me…and has no idea what she wants!" Spike let out a huge grunt as he placed his bottle beside him as he leaned back on both his hands. "It gives me a sodding headache just thinking about it! Everything was so much better there…us…life…and then that place became a giant hole in the ground and everything went to hell…no pun intended, love."

"She loves Angel," Faith paused to correct herself. "Loved Angel…but…she was **IN** love with you."

"Yeah I'm sure," Spike spat in response before taking another long drink from his bottle.

"I'm serious," Faith replied, and her tone matched her words.

"She said it to me…she said it back to me when I said it…but you know when it happened?" Spike asked Faith. After a few seconds of silence, Spike assumed Faith did not want to guess and finished. "When I was burning up in the Hellmouth…and we thought that was it…when I was leaving from San Francisco…to give her time…and she knew…that was it."

"I don't think it's-"

"It is," Spike said as he cut off Faith. "She did care…but she was always ashamed. Soul…no soul…it didn't matter….she would only admit her feelings…if they were even true and not lies…when she thought she would never see me again. She didn't want me acting on them…"

"Spike," Faith whispered. Looking down at the notebook beside her, Faith shook her head. "That's what you think…that's not what Buffy thought…or felt."

"It's my fault that she could never decide if she wanted me." Spike said, "I was like those disgusting candies…that get real sour…and then they are sweet, you know the ones."

"What?" Faith asked in a confused voice, having no idea where Spike was going.

"I don't tell Glory about her sister…sweet…I only got captured because I built a life size…toy…in the form of her…sour." Spike took another drink. "I saved her life countless times…after trying to kill her more than a few. I give her real love…after stalking her. I'm her bloody vampire vibrator…when she is going through a horrible time…because her friends pulled her out of heaven…because I didn't protect her."

"Spike?" Faith questioned.

"At least she's probably back there right?" Spike questioned, and Faith could hear the genuine concern in her voice. Faith nodded her head. Spike managed a brief smile as he stared down at the ground. "It's my fault…I gave her more happiness that Angel ever did…but I hurt her worse than anyone ever has."

"I'm sure she didn't feel that way." Faith responded.

"Bollocks," Spike said, not believing Faith's words. "I can live for a million days…and I don't care…because I would give anything to live those days a second time…ain't that ironic love?"

"That's life…" Faith responded, not knowing what else to say.

"Yeah it is…what ifs and all that. Always having to wonder…if I would have just treated her right…all the time…would we have been happy together or-"

"I'm sure you would have," Faith said in a concerned voice. For some reason, all the anger and sadness Spike had inside boiled up at Faith's words.

"Why do you even care?" Spike spat at Faith. "You are not the nice slayer…you're the **BAD** slayer love," Spike made sure to put an extra emphasis on the word bad. "You slay, screw, drink…someone dies and you yell at people grieving…just because the most important thing is to go kill what got them…"

"Well people change for others," Faith spat back in an irritated and hurt tone. "You changed for Buffy…I changed for Robin."

"Yeah?" Spike questioned in an equally angry tone.

"Yeah," Faith retorted.

"How that end up for you? Where's he at?" Spike hissed, already knowing the answer.

"Shut the hell up." Faith replied, staring daggers through him.

A moment of silence passed between them, as they both stared at the ground in front of them where she was laid to rest. Within seconds, Spike felt the guilt of the hurtful thing he had said.

"I'm sorry," Spike whispered, still staring at the ground. "I just…I don't know what-"

"I understand," Faith replied, the anger falling out of her voice. Looking up at Spike, Faith said, "It's okay."

"How…" Spike swallowed back the words that got caught in his throat. Trying again, Spike finished his statement. "How did it happen?"

**RERUN**

Spike continually went over all the warnings in his head. He had to change things, but he had to be smart about it. If he changed too much, too fast, everything would change. He wanted to be preemptive, not just reacting to a reality he had never lived in before. He still didn't know the extent of his new abilities, or how much they would evolve, but he still wanted to be in control of everything. Otherwise, he might not be able to save her, save countless people, and save what **THEY** had. Actually, he wanted to change what they had…but still.

His thoughts dragged him back as he wandered slowly towards Buffy's house. The last fight they had, and the time he left for good. For over the thousandth time, it felt like he had just been dusted by Buffy or one of her vampire hunter friends. Pain, guilt, and sorrow all boiled up in him. Jokingly, Spike looked down at his chest, "Glad to see I kept you around."

The train of thought also brought him back to the chip, that was no longer in his head. He couldn't tell Buffy or the Scoobies about either. He didn't know how anyone would react to him randomly having a soul. He knew how they would react to him not having a chip. At this point in time, they would stake him, and Buffy would allow it or do it herself. He was at least a few solid months from Buffy tolerating him, let alone thinking that he wasn't pure evil.

He was definitely not going to shed light on his "changes". Yet, he didn't know how he was going to explain his absence. Not that any of them cared. They probably thought of it as a relief. Still, when he came back, he wasn't in Sunnydale. It took him weeks to travel back. Last time, he was there to torment Buffy and her friends. He missed angering Buffy. He wasn't there to shed light on Riley's new addiction. He wasn't even there to disgust her and get degraded by her for the story of Xin and Nikki.

Spike hoped Riley wasn't still there. He was certain the gang probably found out on their own eventually. He was also fairy certain that Riley was gone. He was on his way out well before he left, Spike realized it, but Buffy and Riley didn't. Still, he wished he knew for certain that Riley was in some jungle, and he prayed that his time away from Sunnydale didn't have negative consequences. Worse come to worse, he would make up something random or be vague if someone did ask where he was.

Spike panicked when he finally paid attention to his surroundings. He was only a couple of blocks from her house. His feet had been leading him down the path he walked so many times before.

"Ahhh," Spike grunted as he placed a hand on his forehead. Pain radiated from his frontal lobes down to his neck, although not nearly as bad as when he had his chip. The more confounding thing was the thoughts running through his head. They were memories. Being at the bar, talking to Xander, the giant troll Olaf, everything came flooding back in sequential order, but sped up. Except this time, it was the entire battle, not just his involvement at the bar. His flashback stopped as soon as his pain began, when he saw Buffy being slammed with the troll's hammer.

Spike's mind raced as he spun around. He didn't know how this was happening, but he recognized that place. The Magic Box wasn't far. Regardless, panic clung to Spike as he sprinted towards the magic shop. Given the current state she was in, she couldn't last much longer. He know she beat him before, but he didn't know how. Once again, Spike pleaded with the Powers that Be that his two week absence couldn't have caused an even more premature death for Buffy.

**RERUN**

Spike swung the door to the magic shop open, quickly jogging inside. As he entered the shop, Olaf stood above Buffy. "What are you fighting for minuscule blonde one?" Olaf bellowed, "Your- Who are you?"

Everyone eye's turned to Spike as he quickly made his way toward's Olaf. Buffy's eye grew the widest at seeing Spike, who had randomly appeared after dropping off the face of the Earth only weeks before. Without hesitation, the troll threw a sweeping right hook at Spike when he was within distance. The troll lacked even average speed, and Spike dodged the punch with ease. Next, Spike threw his fist into the troll's thigh.

Immediately, the troll reached his hands down to his right leg. Letting out a pained roar, Olaf looked up at Spike and growled. Quickly, Spike threw his entire weight into a straight punch into the troll's chest. The troll went a few feet off the ground, traveling a good distance as he crashed up against one of the support pillars inside the shop. The pillar almost broke in half, but stayed standing as the troll bounced off.

"Hmmm," Spike mumbled to himself, impressed with his own display of strength. Spike got into a suitable fighting stance as Olaf started to slowly get off his feet.

"The transposition…be complete." Willow said in a clear voice.

Spike narrowed his eyes as he looked at Willow. Looking back at the troll, Spike dropped his battle stance as he saw the troll slowly disappear.

Anya, Xander, and Willow stared at Spike across the front counter. "Spike's back…" Xander said in a low voice, doing his best to conceal a bit of fear.

"Yeah…" Willow said, as confused as everyone else.

Spike stared at the ground as he shifted his feet. Uncomfortable, Spike did his best not to make eye contact with anyone. Regardless, he couldn't help but to look at Buffy. He did his best not to let his smile show or his emotions to surface as he looked upon her. He wanted to run up and grab her. He wanted to do naughty, unforgivable yet heartfelt things to her right there. Obviously, that wasn't an option.

"Spike," Buffy said cautiously, as she got back up to her feet. "That was…" Buffy stumbled over her words as she took a few steps closer to Spike. "That was amazing."

Spike gave Buffy a blank stare. All the positive emotions brought on by her compliment were marred by negative ones. He knew Buffy was impressed, but at the same time slightly more scared. Like Dawn said, she always worried what she would do if he got that chip out. Regardless, she hadn't said it yet. It would be a couple more weeks and one babysitting job before Dawn got her little sick crush on him. Thinking to himself, Spike remembered one positive. He wasn't around for the whole let's get this chip removed and kill Buffy with Harmony extravaganza.

"Thanks love," Spike muttered, barely above an audible level. Feeling uncomfortable, Spike scanned the room and made brief eye contact with everyone. "Well," He started in his typical tone, "Glad to see the whole lot is still alive and kicking." As quickly as possible, Spike left the Magic Box.

**RERUN**

Buffy left the magic shop almost as quickly as Spike did. By the time she got out onto the street, there was no sign of the former "Big Bad". Regardless, she had a good idea what path he was taking. Uncertain of why, Buffy began a brisk jog as she cut through alleys. After about a minute, she saw Spike and slowed down to a quick walk.

"Spike!" Buffy said in loud voice.

Spike stopped walking. Dropping his head, he let out a sigh. He intentionally took the darkest, most dangerous back alleys to avoid her. Then again, she was no more afraid of them than he was.

"Yes love?" Spike replied in a less than thrilled tone as he turned around to face the Slayer.

Buffy didn't reply immediately. When she had caught up with her former adversary, she answered his question. "Where have you been?"

"Ummm," Spike hesitated, "Around."

"No you haven't," Buffy spat, slightly irritated at Spike's vagueness. "I checked your crypt last week…and a few days ago…"

"I was…" Once again, Spike hesitated as he cursed himself internally. He really should have thought up a story before he confronted her. "Out of town."

"Oh," Buffy said.

After a few seconds, Spike nodded his head. "Yeah, well I'm back now love. Not that anyone is excited about that…so ummm…bye."

"Bye?" Buffy questioned as she took a few steps forward to cut of a retreating Spike.

"Yeah, I just want to leave tonight on a good note." Spike replied in a tired tone.

"What do you mean?" Buffy retorted with a confused.

Stopping dead in his tracks, Spike took a step towards Buffy. "Look, I know your upset…and I'm sorry I got in your way. But bloody hell…if I'm around and I can help…well….I'm gonna help." Spike threw out his hands to his sides as he continued. "So…you just got to deal with that right?"

Buffy stared down the dark alley for a few seconds. Snapping her head back towards Spike she asked, "Is that why you left? Because I yelled at you for interfering that night?"

Spike didn't reply immediately as he thought back. After a few seconds, he remembered the night Riley and himself interrupted her usual rounds. "That's the last time you saw me?" Spike questioned.

"Uhhh, yeah." Buffy replied.

Spike continued thinking back on old memories. He was back and now he knew the last time he was in Sunnydale. As long as his memory stood up, he knew everything he missed. Hopefully, everything happened exactly the same without him affecting it. Instinctively, Spike turned away from Buffy as he grabbed his forehead. Pain radiated from his forehead to his neck once more. This time it was more severe. Spike let out a low grunt as memories continued to overflow his mind. The fact most the memories that rushed to his brain weren't his own made matters more complicated.

"That's how you found out." Spike muttered under his breath, not loud enough for Buffy to hear, finally understanding how Buffy discovered Dawn was the Key.

"What?" Buffy questioned as she took a few strides to be in front of Spike once again. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Spike lied.

"Wait," Buffy said in a stern voice, slightly irritated by Spike's immaturity. "Is that why you left? Because I….hurt you feelings that night?"

"No!" Spike said in an irritated tone as he turned his body slightly. "It's…more complicated than that."

Again, Buffy's only reply was, "Ohh…"

Spike rolled his eyes, which luckily went unnoticed by Buffy. "Look, I'm back now pet. I'll be around…but I have to go make sure my crypt is still…my crypt."

"Spike!" Buffy called again, as the distance grew between Spike and herself.

"Yeah," Spike replied in a dry tone.

"There's…things we have to talk about." Buffy said.

"I know," Spike replied quickly, not looking forward to their talk again. Last time, it made her despise him even more. Honestly, there was no "positive" way to tell a Slayer a story about killing two of her descendants.

"You know where I live," Spike said as he looked over his shoulder at Buffy. Almost immediately, Spike corrected himself, "Where I…reside…"

Before Buffy knew it, Spike was out of sight.

**RERUN**

So how horrible was it? Let me know/ please REVIEW! :) thanks


	2. Death Wish

**A/N: Hello to all readers…I want to say one thing and then elaborate on it. PLEASE REVIEW…**

**Okay, elaboration time…**

**This isn't just because I get a warm fuzzy every time I see a new review on a story (which i do enjoy) or because I actually enjoy the reviews that give constructive criticism and/or compliment the story (which i do really, really enjoy)…there's a MUCH bigger reason…**

**I stumbled onto fanfiction years ago…randomly…upon replaying Final Fantasy VIII and growing slightly obsessed for a few weeks. That's how I started writing fanfiction. That was about 5-6 years after the game was over…although fanfiction for games is a bit different than an ongoing series. Wrote a pretty good story…got into 2 different communities…and ended up getting about 20 reviews…the fan base still had some devoted readers/writers…but it was basically DEAD…**

**Here I am with my new infatuation…BtVS…which I've stumbled upon 8 years after the show ended…8 YEARS! This story is probably going to end up being long ( probably at least 80,000 words…and my longest before this was about 50,000 words) Quite honestly, even if this makes me sound like a prick, I'm not going to write a monster (length) fiction if it ends up getting 15 reviews…half of the reviews by a few people…that are like a portion of the 35 people that still actively read and write BtVS. I would just go write a Naruto fiction (no I don't watch it, nor am I bashing them…just using a random example of a extremely popular fandom) where two of the main characters are having sex by the third paragraph, there is no plot, and the writing and emotional storyline rivals "Green Eggs and Ham" and get 75 reviews within the first day…**

**No, I wouldn't actually do that…but I wouldn't write a LONG fiction and put effort into actually making a plot and trying to engage readers…if its going to get 10 reviews because the fan base isn't there anymore either. So with that being said, if you enjoy the story (hopefully) take the minute or two and review…I know it's a PAIN, and I'm guilty of reading and really enjoying fics on here and just not taking the time to review…but please do so if you get a chance…Thanks, Trim59**

Spike tossed and turned. He didn't really expect too sleep this night anyways. He was happy. Buffy was alive and he had a second chance. Regardless, he had a thousand thoughts running through his brain. Deep down, he wanted to explain everything to Buffy. Still, he knew it would be pointless. Where he currently stood with Buffy and the Scoobies would result in him getting staked, or looking crazy at the least. Even worse, if she did believe what he was saying Buffy would probably distance herself from him.

It still hadn't sunk in. He was back in his crypt. He was back in his town. Well, at least the placed he had stayed the longest since he became a vampire. Buffy was **ALIVE**. He was going to treat her better than Angel ever did.

Out of nowhere, Spike panicked. Sitting up in his small bed, Spike scanned the room as his mind raced. What if he got friend zoned? The whole mutual respect and caring thing didn't come along naturally in their relationship. Before that ever occurred, hate was the governing emotion. Physical attraction also played a key, but he was the only one that initially cared. Did he have to disgust Buffy for her to eventually fall back in love with him? Would he have to let her die closing that portal again, just so she would come to him? Would he have to let Buffy use him and be her dirty little secret she was ashamed off?

There really was no sure fire way. The path that guaranteed him access to Buffy, to varying degrees, was also the reason he never fully had her. Spike couldn't allow disgust and hatred to be the driving force in their relationship again. Buffy did like the forbidden, and she did like a little monster in her man. That was Spike's opinion still, but he knew that Buffy was capable of loving a monster like him.

Spike just had to make it through a few more lonely hours. It was almost dinner time for normal humans. He wished that Buffy would seek him out. Unfortunately, Spike knew the Slayer was one death away from feeling isolated from her friends, and searching him out in his crypt. He wouldn't allow her to die again, even if it was only for a few months.

**RERUN**

Spike was getting used to the flashbacks, or whatever they were called. The pain caused by each one was also diminishing. The information he saw was never more than barely coherent, but it allowed him to get the general idea of many things he didn't know before. Having the knowledge of what he did, along with the knowledge of what others did was quite useful. He knew Buffy and the Scoobies were at her house, and they were discussing Glory as well as the Council. Beyond that, he had no idea. Still, it was a fairly good start.

Spike opened the front door to her house quietly. Walking in, he was able to hear parts of their conversation before anyone noticed.

"Giles I don't want them to come here!" Buffy explained to her Watcher. "I don't trust-"

"It's too late love," Spike said.

The entire group's eyes snapped to Spike upon hearing his voice. Spike came to rest as he leaned on the arm cushion of the couch. Looking down, he managed a small smile at Anya, Willow, and Tara who were all beside him. "Isn't that right?" Spike questioned as he looked at Giles.

"Well, yes," Giles replied, suddenly more concerned with Spike's presence than Glory or the council.

"You really should look into that spell," Xander said in Willow's direction. Even Spike knew Xander was talking about rescinding his invitation, so he couldn't walk into and out of the Summer's house freely.

"Hush boy, before I lick you to death." Spike said, clearly making a joke about his capabilities when it came to harming humans. His soul wouldn't allow much more than that, the group thought his chip wouldn't. Either way, Spike didn't feel like a complete liar.

For a brief second, Spike and Anya made eye contact. Anya broke the eye contact first, but did a double take. Immediately, Spike snapped his head back towards the direction of Buffy. He remembered the bar incident. He would have to avoid direct eye contact with Anya at all costs. It was obviously due to her demon past, but he still didn't know how Anya was able to tell he had a soul.

"Slayer, we need to talk?"

"Yeah…" Buffy said, looking between Spike, her friends, and her Watcher.

"Right then, well I'll be outside…" Spike left the house without another word.

**RERUN**

"Not nearly as tough the second time mate," Spike said in a confident tone. He spoke the truth, but he was still covered in a moderate amount of blood and wounds. Staring at the glowing green eyes in the darkness directly in front of him, Spike let out a short laugh. "You're telling me…your an all powerful demon…and you only got those same three tricks there? Well, the bugs are still a pain in-"

"The trials…are the trials…they have and always will be the same," the demon bellowed.

Spike let out a scoff. "Right then, so-"

"Few are allowed to complete the trials twice…" The demon bellowed again, his voice more angry than before.

"Well, I guess that makes me special then…" Spike shot the demon a smirk as he leaned his body against the wall of the cavern.

"Yes…your situation is…different than most."

Spike let out a sigh, growing tired of talking to a embodiment of pure evil and power. "Okay then…you know what I want…"

"Yes…"

Spike pushed off the wall. After a few moments of silence, Spike took a step forward. "Right then mate…wave your magic wand…or magic claw…or whatever…"

"What you ask for…I am not capable of…"

Spike eye's grew as he stared at the demon. "What?"

"I am not capable of granting what you wish…"

"Bloody hell," Spike spat, taking a step forward. "You could have told me that in the beginning!"

"You didn't ask…you merely asked to undergo the trials once-"

"Bollocks," Spike screamed, turning his body away from the demon as he started pacing. "A pure demon that's a smart arse…I've seen it all!"

"Enough!" The demon retorted, demanding respect. "You came seeking what I cannot give…there are ways…besides me…"

"A waste of my sodding time!" Spike spat, turning around and heading towards the exit of the cavern. Spike clenched his fists hard enough to break skin. He would have charged the demon. However, even a vampire that craved conflict and battle knew when he didn't stand a chance. That would end badly. Buffy and him both dead didn't have a happy ending. Hell, maybe it would actually be easier that way.

Buffy always found a way to beat the odds, even when she was outmatched. They were equally as strong as one another, but Buffy possessed something he lacked. She always found a way to defeat the never ending army of vampires, demons, and "Big Bads". Even if he found a way back, which obviously wouldn't be from this demon, what good would it do? Yeah, he would do things…better…the second time around. Regardless, he wouldn't be stronger…to defeat Glory he would have to let Buffy die again, to defeat the First he would have to give up his life again, and let countless other people give up theirs.

"I am capable of that…" The demon said in a pleased tone.

"Capable of what?" Spike questioned as he turned around.

Without a word, the demon approached him. Immediately, Spike understood. Closing his eyes, Spike waited for the excruciating pain once more.

**RERUN**

After some persuading, Buffy lifted her shirt slightly to expose the side of her torso. The wound was almost healed. After a second, Buffy dropped her shirt back down. Feeling uncomfortable, Buffy scooted away from Spike a few inches as she turned to face him.

"The vamp got you pretty good…" Spike said. Buffy gave him a blank expression. Glancing around Spike's crypt, Buffy tried not to make eye contact out of nervousness.

"A few of them have come…close…lately." Buffy's voice was barely above a whisper. Regardless, Spike still made out every syllable with ease.

"It makes sense" Spike replied. Buffy's eyes grew wide as she looked back into Spike's. "That run of the mill vamp got lucky…almost dusted you with your own stake." Spike continued, briefly staring down at the wad of cash between them. "And I wasn't there to…help you understand what you did wrong…"

"What are-How did you know about that?" Buffy questioned with a concerned voice.

"Before Riley dusted them," Spike replied in a lie, noticing Buffy's face when she said Riley's name. He wasn't looking forward to having to deal with a week or two of Buffy being upset due to her boy toy leaving. At least he wasn't around for Angel's departure. "The guy bragged to some friends. Rumors and gossips spread as quickly with the unholy and undead as the rest of you lot."

"Oh," Buffy said as she tried to keep her voice calm. Regardless, Spike could hear the worry in her tone. "Maybe that's why they've been more…persistent lately. They smell blood...they want to finish me off."

Spike looked at Buffy with worry. "Yeah, but I'm back…so you got another fighter on your side…against the best the Hellmouth can offer."

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. Leaning her shoulder against the back of the couch, Buffy let out a scoff as she rolled her eyes.

"What?" Spike asked in a slightly irritated. Even though he loved this woman, she was amazingly skilled at pressing his buttons.

Again, Buffy rolled her eyes as she broke eye contact with Spike. "You're on my side…"

"I am…and I have been for a little while now Slayer." Spike spat back.

"As long as that chip's in your head?" Buffy questioned as she raised her eyebrow.

"Sodding figures," Spike mumbled under his breath. "Look," Spike said in an irritated tone. "I don't want to get into this love…or waste my breath…and you won't believe a bloody thing I say anyway…so can we just get into story time?"

"Of course," Buffy replied, her voice holding a level of happiness. She was fully expecting Spike to give her a much more difficult time.

"And," Spike said, "Put the money away…"

"Why," Buffy started, almost as if she was trying to initiate a conflict with him, "Is the fact I'm bribing you…when you're…_on my side…_making the big bad feel bad?"

Spike rolled his tongue over his teeth. "I…don't want it." Spike said. "Put it away…**NOW**…or I'm not telling you a sodding thing. I'm serious Buffy."

Buffy picked up the wad of cash from the center of the couch. "Sorry…" Buffy replied in a slightly confused tone. What was his deal? He had to be up to something. He seemed way too…a lot of things.

Spike nodded his head, "Thanks…" and started his story.

**RERUN**

Spike's slowed down the pace of the story once he got towards the fight with the first Slayer. Standing up, Spike looked at Buffy. "Need something to eat…drink," Spike said correcting himself. "Want something?"

Buffy declined without a word. Shrugging his shoulders, Spike retrieved his snack. Popping an extra straw and lid on his cup, Spike headed back towards the couch. He plopped back down beside Buffy, taking a long sip of his drink.

"So…what happened?" Buffy said as she shifted in her seat.

"Well," Spike started. Again, he took down a sip of his drink. "She was…a little more serious than you." Buffy gave Spike a less than pleased look. "Asian girl obviously…highly trained with weapons and martial arts. She gave me this actually…" Spike stopped as he rubbed his hand over his brow line.

"I always kind of wondered about that…with the accelerated healing and everything…" Buffy's voice tapered off.

"Yeah…she got me good." Spike replied, shifting his weight on the couch to get more comfortable. "All the way down…even chipped the bone…and my healing has limits. You should know Slayer."

Buffy nodded her head as Spike motioned towards her abdomen. "Yeah…" was her only reply. Spike continued with his story.

"She uhhh…she almost dusted me love." Spike paused again as he searched for the right words. He was doing his best to leave out more details than in the first telling. Buffy would still get the point. Besides, he was mainly trying to intimidate, disgust, and scare her the first time he told the story. "Had me right against the wall….by this window…choking me…stake in hand…the whole thing pet."

"What h-" Buffy didn't get a chance to finish her statement as Spike answered her question.

"An explosion went off outside…knocked us both away from the window…saved my arse really." Spike paused to take a long sip from his beverage. "Got back up…fought some more…got the spike out of her hand."

Spike paused to see if Buffy had a reply. She didn't. She sat anxiously waiting to hear more like a young child with a bedtime story.

"It was a pretty vicious little scrap we had. No one was really winning…we were just beating the bloody hell out of each other." Spike paused for a moment, taking in a deep breath. Ashamed, Spike broke eye contact with Buffy as he looked down at the floor. "Until she reached for her stake…left an opening…I bit her neck…took a chunk out of her…and…that was it."

Buffy's eyes widened as she look at Spike. Spike returned her look. He remembered her look in graphic detail. Luckily, there wasn't as much hatred for him this time. Still, most of the horror and fear was still present.

"Listen love," Spike said as she scooted a few inches closer. "You always have to reach for your weapon. We…**THEY**…already have theirs." Spike opted out of changing form. He knew she got the message without the demonstration. "In that moment, you are vulnerable. If one of my…bumpy headed brethren time it right…or just get lucky…have one good day…that could be your end."

**RERUN**

Again, Spike opted out of any demonstrations. Instead of acting out the fight with Robin's mother, they both remained on the couch.

"What's the point…what's the lesson Spike?" Buffy asked in a disheartened tone. "She didn't reach for her stake…she didn't give you one small opening…you just…you beat her..."

"Buffy," Spike said in a compassionate tone. "She was…she was ready to go love."

"What?" Buffy questioned. Spike swallowed back hard, the glossiness of Buffy's eyes and the look on her face making it more difficult than expected.

"Deep down, every Slayer has a death wish." Spike said slowly. With caution, Spike did his best to make sure his tone was soft and not confrontational. He did not want Buffy thinking he was trying to intimidate and scare her. "Death is all around you…it's part of you…it's part of being a Slayer. A part of the Slayer…a part of you…wants it…not just to stop the stress, pain, worry…but because it is the Slayer…its your art."

"No," Buffy said, fighting back against tears.

"Buffy," Spike pleaded, hoping she would listen and not grow angry at him. "The reason…you've lasted so long…is because of your family, the Scoobies, everyone…you have ties to this world."

"No Spike," Buffy said, her voice shaking. Spike sped up his explanation as he could hear the anger slowly building up in her voice.

"You have to live for them…most Slayers are alone…you aren't….but be honest with me right now…okay…"

Buffy turned her face away from Spike. Wiping away the few tears that had fallen down her face, Buffy returned to looking at Spike with new resolve. "What?" Buffy questioned, her voice not shaking as badly as before.

"When things are hard…like they always are…like right now love…you go out every night…and you wonder…will this be **THE **night," Spike looked away, realizing his question was becoming more of a tangent. "Deep down…if it wasn't for your family…and friends…would you mind…as much?"

"Spike," Buffy replied.

"Would you?" Spike questioned again, refusing to let it go.

"Spike," Buffy said again more forcefully, fighting back against tears once more. She wasn't saying much. Regardless, Spike knew it was a mixture between begging and demanding him to stop.

"Well you can't Slayer…you can't think that way." Spike said as she shook his head. "Because we…" Spike quickly corrected himself, hoping Buffy didn't notice. "They…need you."

**RERUN**

"Are you sure you're okay?" Spike questioned as they headed towards the door to his crypt.

"Yes," Buffy replied with a hint of irritation.

"And you don't need me to walk you h-"

"I'm fine Spike," Buffy replied before Spike finished. For added effect, she reached down to one of her spikes underneath her coat. "Slayer…vampire slayer…and demons…remember?"

"Yeah…" Spike said as he managed a short chuckle. "Right…"

Spike stopped walking as the reached the steps by the door. Silently, he watched Buffy as she reached the door and opened it. Hesitating for a second, Buffy finally turned around with her hand still on the door. "Thanks…" Buffy said in a quiet voice. "For…acting human about this…"

"Yeah…no problem," Spike said, feeling slightly uncomfortable at her subtle compliment. Running a hand through his hair, Spike looked up at her. "Trying to stay on the good side of the lady with the stakes."

Buffy's managed a small smile at Spike's joke. Assuming the conversation was over, Spike turned around. After a few steps, Spike turned back around as Buffy called his name again.

"Yeah," he questioned.

"I…I don't know what you are doing…" Buffy said. "But even if you are being serious…this isn't some…" Buffy shrugged her shoulders as she tried to explain herself. "Some game to you…it doesn't change the things you've done…**ALL **the things you've done."

Spike nodded his head as he stared at the ground. Taking a deep breath, Spike looked back towards Buffy. "I know that Slayer. Nothing changes…or makes up for that…"

Buffy nodded her head as Spike looked back at her.

"But you know love," Spike said as he turned his body slightly. "I'm not even trying to make up for it…I did…what I did…" Spike let a scoff out as he dropped his eyes to the ground. "But I don't have to do it anymore…"

Again, Buffy managed a small smile. The worry on her face didn't change. "And Spike…"

"Slayer…" Spike said in a sarcastic tone.

Buffy's expression changed to one of absolute seriousness. "If this is some game…trick…whatever…you're not getting that chip out…even if its possible."

Spike let out a short chuckle. It really was a good thing she didn't know. "It's not…" he replied.

"Good…" Buffy said in a serious tone. Spike nodded. After a few seconds of silence, Buffy exited and closed the door behind her.


	3. Rerun

**A/N: Okay so the views and reviews are up…so I'm going to continue writing this. First off…if anyone thought I was threatening to only write the story if i got "x" number of reviews…that's not it. All i meant was I didn't want to get overly involved in a fandom that was dying out. I know that Buffy has over 40 thousand stories on this site…still, I assume at least half if not more were wrote during the 7 seasons of the show.**

**I'm glad to see that my new favorite show/ship still has a fan base…**

**That's all I wanted to say…THANK YOU to everyone that reviewed…**

**Two small changes to the story (why i love constructive criticism): **

**1) I didn't realize the "RERUN" scene break was slightly confusing…instead you will get a brief description of time and place for each new scene**

**2) I realize I do love the ellipsis…I don't know…i think its because a lot of the serious conversations I write…I imagine they wouldn't just say the words…they would be pausing, using inflecting, thinking of the right thing to say, etc…Sometimes I explain briefly what is going through the characters mind in the middle of a statement. Sometimes, I use five ellipsis in one statement. I will try to not overkill the use of three dots in a row. I will still probably use them more than the average writer. It is how I write. Still, I will try to use them more sparingly.**

**Thanks,**

**Trim59.**

Spike had spent days training. He couldn't believe his new strength. He had killed vampires before. However, he had never dusted a vampire without having a stake. That changed on his latest patrol. Spike hit a vampire and sent it flying about twenty feet into a large, ornamental headstone. The poor sucker hit it so hard he fell apart, literally, and dusted on the spot. Spike didn't understand how it happened, but it was cool nonetheless. He even let one of his friends run off. Hopefully, news would spread quickly. Spike liked the ideas of being more feared than he already was.

Spike pondered about the source of his new strength. He wondered if the demon had strengthened the one inside of him. Spike knew that probably was not the cause. His urge to kill or maim innocent things hadn't returned, nor did it take more effort to fight the occasional bloodlust or thirst. Then again, those things came with practice and a soul. The amount of power a person had came second to their own will. The person chose how they used their power.

Needless to say, Spike was trying to stay busy. He wanted Buffy, but he didn't want to suffocate her. He would already be annoying Buffy with his presence plenty if he followed the timeline closely. He didn't know if a twenty minute visit to the Slayer, when he was supposed to be stalking a random alleyway or killing something, would completely change the outcome of a future event. Even worse, Spike's constant fear was the timeline evolving into something he had never experience before.

Spike could randomly decide to start smoking menthol cigarettes, and the First could appear nine months ahead of schedule. He knew that was extremely unlikely. He bursted into that little Scoobie meeting when he wasn't supposed to be there. There were no negative consequences or changes from that. Still, he tried his best to do exactly the same thing he had before. His life became a rerun. The only time he said different things, did different things, or acted different, was when he interacted with Buffy. It was extremely boring.

Honestly, he was scared. Spike knew he was going to start being more bold with his actions. Otherwise, he might lose his mind as he said things and did things for a second time. He knew he just had to be careful. Changing his brand of cigarettes or choice of drink wasn't going to kick-off an early apocalypse. Setting a police station on fire, killing Giles, or doing something else extreme and important possibly could. He just needed to be smart. He needed to think if a certain action would drastically change something in the future.

Spike babysat Joyce and Dawn like he did the first time. He still enjoyed the talk about their favorite show with Joyce, but he wasn't as interested in the episode. One bad thing about time travel was that everything on TV was a rerun. Of course, Spike was nice to Buffy this time around when she came to drop the girls off and to pick them back up. Unfortunately, he didn't get a chance spend much time with Buffy with her sister and mother around.

**London, 2007**

"I'm not entirely sure where we are going." Faith said being honest. Looking out the driver side window, Faith did her best to look for any familiar place.

"Ummm here..." Spike said in a sarcastic tone as he held out the piece of paper.

"I know that," Faith replied as she didn't break eye contact from the road. She had already read the address that was on the piece of paper. "But, I'm still not sure"

Spike let out a scoff as he looked out his own window. Turning his head back towards the Slayer, he stated, "I thought bringing you along would be useful. How long did you live here?"

"Wait a minute…" Faith replied, not answering his question. "You're saying you brought me along only as a tour guide?" Faith gave Spike a playful grin as she looked across the car.

"I'm not saying that…but I thought you could help me see the," Spike's eyes darted around the car as he tried to think of an excuse. "Breathtaking sites London has to offer."

"Ohh, the sites, and I was thinking you brought me along for that same reason." Faith's words drifted off as she shoot a look at Spike with a smirk on her face.

Spike returned the smirk. A few seconds after Faith returned her eyes to the road, Spike leaned back against the head rest. Looking out the window, he replied to her playful attempt at flirting. "That was another reason." Spike started as he glanced across the car to meet eyes with the brunette. "And they are as breathtaking as ever."

"Well thanks," Faith replied with a smirk on her face. This time, she didn't break her eye contact from the road. "It's good to know that-"

"Wait…" Spike interrupted. "I think that's it." Spike continued as he pointed across the road.

"You sure?" Faith questioned. Regardless, she was already slowing the car to a stop against the nearest sidewalk.

"About as sure as you," Spike said sarcastically.

"Okay," Faith replied as she put the car in park. Faith turned her body slightly towards Spike. Leaning her body against the cushions of the car seat, Faith gave Spike a small smile. "Good luck."

"Good luck," Spike questioned as he looked across the car at Faith. "Oh no…you're coming with me."

"That wasn't part of the deal." Faith said bluntly.

"Well, I kind of need you." Spike replied as he began to feel irritated.

"No you don't," Faith quickly replied. "Just…i don't know, go in there and be nice."

Spike didn't let Faith finish her words. "And what? Say hello, do you mind stirring up your cauldrons and waving your bloody wands around…and sending me back in time a bit?"

Faith's only reply was a chuckle as she shook her head.

"For real," Spike said in a serious manner. "The whole vampire thing, soul or not, doesn't make most people jump for joy…or get the urge to help me when I barge in demanding things."

"Well, don't demand things." Faith stated. She still had the urge to stay in the car even though Spike was steadily chipping away at her resolve. "Be nice…"

"Oh, that's bloody brilliant," Spike exclaimed. "Will you **PLEASE** help me?" Spike shook his head as he continued, "And if it doesn't work I'll only drain one of you, promise."

Again, Faith shook her head. "Spike, how does me coming along help you anyways?"

"Uhh, Slayer remember?" Spike said as he moved his head towards her. "If I'm with you…that gives my whole, I'm a _nice_vampire, speech some bloody weight."

Faith let out a scoff as she rolled her eyes. Crossing her arms, Faith sat in silence. Spike refused to break eye contact with her. Letting out another scoff, Faith uncrossed her arms. "This better be quick."

Spike smiled as he reached for the door handle. "Sure thing love."

**Sunnydale, 2001**

Spike sat on his couch watching television. He wasn't focused on the fuzzy picture in front of him. He knew he did something tonight, but he couldn't remember what. Standing up quickly, Spike let out a few explicit phrases as he headed towards the door. He was supposed to be outside Buffy's house, lurking like he normally did. Tonight was the night Dawn discovered the truth. Running towards the door, Spike slowed down as he grabbed the side of his head. Memories came flooding back about Dawn and his talk outside Buffy's house before they went to the shop.

"I know!" Spike spat at himself, wishing his newly acquired sixth sense would have tipped him off sooner. Remembering what he forgot, Spike turned around and made haste to the couch. Grabbing his trench coat, Spike quickly put it on. As he opened the door, Spike let out an irritated grunt. Not taking the time to close the door, Spike cleared the steps with a jump. Angry, Spike used more force than necessary and crushed the side of the box of chocolates as he grabbed it off his table.

"Ughh…" Spike exclaimed as he looked down at the box. At least it wasn't as damaged as before.

**Sunnydale, 2001**

Spike arrived at Buffy's house with time to spare. The headaches caused by his visions were a negative. A positive was they were always preemptive. Lighting his second cigarette, Spike leaned against the tree in Buffy's yard. Spike did his best to think back. "How long was I here?" Spike questioned, growing more impatient by the second. On cue, he noticed Dawn lowering herself down the side of the house.

As before, Dawn let out a repressed squeal as she almost ran into Spike. "Jeez," she hissed, clearly scared. "Lurk much?"

"I wasn't lurking," Spike replied. "I was lurking…it's a whole diff-" Spike stopped himself as he rolled his eyes. "That wasn't right…"

"Well at least your honest," Dawn replied. Her eyes grew as she looked at the gift Spike was holding underneath his arm. Crossing her arms, Dawn smirked. "Are you giving Buffy a birthday present?"

Spike looked upwards as he let out a sigh. Time travel sucked at times.

**Sunnydale, 2001**

A loud noise from upstairs startled Buffy as she sat on the couch talking to Tara and Willow. Buffy didn't know if it was her Slayer sense, or the fact she had snuck out a few times herself. Still, she had a strong feeling it was her sister. Buffy stood up from her seat and made her way to the bottom of the staircase.

Buffy yelled out, "Dawn?" After a few seconds, there was still no reply. "Dawn?" Buffy repeated a little louder.

"She's fine," Spike said as he appeared out of the shadows. Buffy jumped slightly as she snapped her head to look at Spike. Letting out a sigh, she shook her head.

"Do you just," Buffy started, as she took a step toward Spike and threw her arms out. "Walk in now?" Spike shrugged his shoulder. Buffy gave him a somewhat disappointed look. Regardless, she was more worried about her sister's well-being than scolding Spike. "Dawn!" Buffy yelled up the staircase again.

"I told you. She's fine." Spike said. Buffy turned away from the staircase to face the vampire. Before Buffy could say anything, Spike finished his statement. "I made sure of it."

Buffy shook her heat as she looked back up the staircase, intent on calling Dawn's name once more. In less than a second, Spike's words registered in the Slayer's brain. Snapping her eyes back to Spike, Buffy's face held anger and betrayal. "Where was she Spike?" She spat.

"We went for a walk…she's perfectly fine." Spike said as he withheld most of the truth.

"What did you do? Where was she?" Buffy spat as she closed the distance between them and grabbed Spike by his shirt. Spike rolled his eyes. Clearly, Buffy had a handful of questions that all needed answered immediately.

"The shop." Spike said.

"The shop?" Buffy yelled.

"Yeah…" Spike tailed off, breaking eye contact with her. Finally, Buffy let go of his shirt. Spike took a step back as he prepared for Buffy's next volley of angry words and questions.

"How could you?" Buffy said in a hurt and angry tone.

"I was just along for the ride," Spike retorted, falling back on applicable portions of previous conversations between them. "She's a fourteen year old, hormonal teenager. If kid sis wants to grab a midnight stroll she's going to find a way, and she did." Spike let out a scoff as he looked at the nearest wall. "I just thought she'd be safer with big bad looking over her shoulder."

Buffy shook her head as she shoot daggers through Spike.

"And you know what?" Spike said in an angry voice, taking a step towards Buffy. Spike got momentarily distracted as he looked at Willow and Tara, now standing only a few feet away. Looking back at Buffy, Spike kept on with his train of thought. "It was a bloody good thing I was. Thanks to me she didn't find out about her…origins…from a book."

"What?" Buffy said in a panicked voice.

Reaching into his trench coat, Spike pulled out the small book. Spike turned to the page revealing the truth. Without a word, Spike handed it to her. "Read." he demanded.

Buffy obeyed. Spike noticed Buffy's hands tremble as she read the words. After she was finished, Buffy looked back up at Spike.

"So, besides keeping sis from being a crunchy snack for a prowler," Spike started. Before finishing, Spike pointed at the book still in Buffy's hands. "I kept her from reading that."

"Spike," Buffy said in a low voice. "I'm…I'm s-"

Buffy couldn't finish her apology as Spike cut her off. "Why do you make it so bloody hard Slayer? You know something? Even without a soul," Spike managed to correct the tense he was using as it came out of his mouth. "I w-am decent to you, all of you, and I help."

"Spike…" Buffy pleaded.

"No, you let me finish Slayer. It's about sodding time you heard this." Spike replied, half surprised that Buffy didn't immediately say something. "Without a soul what did Angel do? He killed people, he killed friends, he tried to end the bloody universe! Oh,and then I helped you stop him. I help you guys out…and you kick me like I'm a dog begging for food from the dinner table."

"I di-" Once again, Buffy's attempt at interrupting Spike was useless.

"You and your little gang of misfits," Spike said as he motioned toward Willow and her lover. "Better stop treating me like a…like a dog." Spike said in an upset voice. After a second, Spike held his hand up in front of him as he altered his statement. "No, you better stop treating me like a bloody unwanted stray mutt around here. That you don't have the heart to take to the vet and put out of its misery!"

"Is that what you want Spike?" Buffy said in a sarcastic tone. "To be put out of your misery? Do you want me to stake you?" Buffy questioned.

Spike let out a scoff as he placed his hand on his hip. Rolling his eyes, Spike shook his head. It was less of an answer to Buffy's question, and more of an action of disapproval towards the woman in front of him.

"Spike," Buffy continued. "You're the one that acts miserable. Like you're doing all of us a favor by helping…like you're doing us a _favor _by not killing us." Buffy word's tailed off, but she maintained eye contact with Spike.

"It's the chip," Spike growled. Letting out a sigh, Spike changed his tone to one of disappointment. "It always comes back to the bloody chip."

"What would you do if you didn't have it?" Buffy retorted, thinking she already knew the truth regardless of his answer.

"The same thing I am now!" Spike yelled back. Buffy rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest. "And you don't believe that. I get it, but listen now for a bit love." Spike finished his statement, but didn't immediately continue.

"I'm listening…" Buffy said quietly.

"I'm an elder. I'm the oldest vampire in this little run down town by a long throw." Spike replied. His voice was calm. He didn't want to continue his argument with the Slayer. Spike wanted Buffy to listen and understand. "Even though I'm not exactly Mr. Popular with my kind anymore…helping you stake them and all…I'm still respected and feared. I can't do anything to you, but if I wanted to I could go get twenty of the bloodsuckers. I could sit outside your house and wait."

Spike paced a few steps as he stared at the ground. Wanting to further emphasis his point, Spike continued. "And tonight, instead of helping niblet, I could have easily went and told a handful of them your sister was wondering the streets alone. Then,when she was all tied up right like…I could have barged in here…." Spike stopped his statement. Next, he changed his tone to one of false worry as he pretended to be out of breath. "Slayer, they got your sister! Follow me!" He acted out. Just as quickly, he went back to explaining his point. "And I could have led you into a trap. One even you couldn't get out of." Spike trailed off.

Turning around, Spike quickly headed towards the exit. About halfway, he turned back to look at Buffy. "But I played chaperone love. Not because I had too, not because a bloody chip made me, but because I wanted too!" Spike didn't wait for a reply as he made his way out of the house and slammed the door behind him.

**Sunnydale, 2001**

Spike looked up from the couch as he saw Buffy enter his crypt. For the first time in a while, Spike wasn't in good spirits to see the Slayer. "If you're here to stake me, " Spike said as he returned his attention to the television. "Make it quick. I got things to do."

As during their previous talk, Buffy made her way to the opposite end of the couch and sat down. Spike looked over and made eye contact with Buffy. He waited a few more seconds for a reply, to which there was none. "Well," Spike said as he did his best to hide his irritation and hurt towards the Slayer. "No pointy stick in hand. I guess that means you want to have one of those _civilized_ conversations right?"

Buffy nodded her head slowly. "Yeah,you could call it that."

"Okay," Spike said as he turned his body to face the Slayer. "Go ahead and work your little magic. Avoid the heartfelt apology that would kill you…and make it seem like everything is my fault again."

Spike stared at Buffy. Buffy's eyes drifted from Spike, to the television, and then to the floor. After a few seconds, she regained eye contact with Spike. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I treated you like that last night." Buffy replied in a sincere tone. "I know you were just trying to help."

"Your bloody right," Spike replied, adding to Buffy's statement. "And I did help…"

"You did…" Buffy said as she looked at Spike. Her face was serious, but Spike wasn't able to tell what she thinking or feeling. "And I appreciate it."

Spike fought back a small urge he had to rub it in Buffy's face. Regardless, he wasn't going to. It was a victory. Trying to gloat about it would only end in her mad and storming back out. Still, he had some thing he hadn't gotten the chance to say that he wanted to. Hopefully, Buffy and him could continue the civilized conversation.

"You know something though Slayer?" Spike questioned. Buffy didn't reply. However, she looked into his eyes and gave Spike her full attention. "Staying with the dog thing from last night…I don't do these things just hoping to get table scraps…or for the Slayer to rub my tummy." Spike let out a sigh as he looked at Buffy. "But would it kill you to let the mutt rest all cozy by the fireplace and the like? Because I'm getting bloody tired of always getting thrown in the kennel, or in the backyard in the rain…when I've done nothing."

Buffy didn't reply immediately. After a few seconds, she finally said, "Spike, you're not staying at my house…and I'm not scratching anything on you."

Spike's eyes rose to the ceiling as he shook his head. Looking back at Buffy, Spike tilted his head to the side. "Is that really the only thing you got out of that statement?"

Buffy gave Spike a blank stare. Spike's mouth fell open slightly as he continued looking at the woman in front of him. She couldn't really be that dense, right? Out of nowhere, a laugh escaped Buffy's mouth. A few seconds after Spike joined in, the laughter subsided as Buffy turned more towards Spike.

"I understand what you mean." Buffy replied once she regained her composure.

Spike's only reply was a small smile. Feeling suddenly anxious, Spike stood up. "I don't know why I even ask love," Spike muttered, "Manners I guess…but do you want something?"

"Umm, what do you have?" Buffy asked.

"Well, besides blood, which I don't imagine suits your fancy." Spike said as he made his way to his cooler. Bending over, Spike scanned the contents before replying. "Diet Coke."

Again, Buffy let out a laugh. However, this one ended as soon as Spike turned around to face her.

"What?" Spike spat towards her, feeling embarrassed.

"Diet Coke?" Buffy squeaked out, fighting off a grin that wanted to appear on her face.

"Yes, Diet Coke!" Spike replied. Defending himself, Spike said, "Clem brought it over."

"Ohh…okay." Buffy said with a shrug of the shoulders.

Spike maintained eye contact with Buffy and allowed his eyes to linger slightly longer than necessary. Shaking his head, Spike quickly grabbed both beverages and headed towards his seat. Spike handed Buffy her drink as he sat down on the couch. "You really love to bust em' over anything, don't you?"

"Maybe," Buffy said as she popped open the lid on the Diet Coke.

**Sunnydale, 2001**

Spike shifted on the couch uncomfortably. Alerted by his movement, Buffy looked over at him. Spike quickly moved his eyes back towards the television as he took a sip of his blood. This was awkward. Neither one of them had said anything in too long. He got her a drink, they talked for a few minutes, and then they turned their attention towards the television. Buffy complained about the horrible reception, but she continued watching it nonetheless.

Buffy had asked why her mom and him loved Passions so much. Her questioning suddenly reminded him of Joyce's quickly approaching death. Spike got stressed, realizing it was another thing he had to find a solution too. Buffy noticed this. Buffy asked if he was alright. Spike lied and said he was. Next, he went on explaining how the two blurry images on the screen were married, but the female blurry image was having an affair with the third blurry image. That was about 5 minutes ago.

It was absolutely silent. Spike kept the television muted, because the only sound that the TV unit emitted was static. Every ten seconds or so, one of them would take a drink. Spike was brought out of his deep thought by Buffy placing her can on the floor. Wiping the small amount of moisture on her jeans, Buffy sat up in her seat.

"So umm…" Buffy started. "Thanks for the drink."

"Yeah." Spike muttered.

"So, I got places to be and…vampires to kill," Buffy continued as she did her best to hide the nervousness in her voice. "No offense."

"Yeah, I get it." Spike replied.

"So i'll see you around then," Buffy continued, starting to stand up from the couch. Once she turned away from Spike, she twisted her face in anger at herself. She sounded more like high school girl talking to a crush than a Slayer.

"Buffy, wait." Spike said quickly. Buffy allowed her legs to give as she sat back down in the seat. Buffy gave Spike a curious look. "Yeah," she asked.

"Ummm…" Spike started, looking down at the ground.

He wanted to tell her. This was the best opportunity. She felt bad for being a bitch to him the previous night. They had actually spent more than five minutes together without arguing. Her heart finally seemed to be thawing out towards him. The list went on and on. Still, Spike was petrified. He didn't even know how to tell her about the chip. If he just told Buffy, she wouldn't believe it. If he hit or slapped Buffy, she would get upset and probably hit him in the face.

"Ummm…" Spike repeated after a second of silence between them.

The first time he told her they fought. No doubt, it was because he told her by way of trying to physically harm her. The fight was vicious, and the sex was incredible. Still, he wasn't at the point with her where a brawl would leave to sex. Besides, he didn't want it to happen that way. Maybe, Spike thought, he had earned her trust enough that she wouldn't stake him. The last time she came to his crypt apologizing was after Dawn beat him to a pulp. Still, she hadn't kiss him this time. He couldn't understand that either.

Girls must really like bad guys. He had been nothing but kind to the Slayer this time around. Still, she came to his crypt apologizing after he helped Dawn. Unfortunately, he hadn't received a kiss this time. It made no sense. He was nothing but a perfect gentleman. Last time, they had just disassembled his Buffy sex toy, which disgusted her, and she still kissed him.

"Oh!" Spike screamed as he clutched his hands to his forehead. How the hell could he forget about the Buffybot. It was way too late now. There was no way that little geek could build it in less than two weeks. Why couldn't he remember that sooner. Spike realized it wouldn't have mattered. He had given Warren the task of building him the robot almost a full week before he even made it back to Sunnydale.

"Spike, are you okay?" Buffy said in a concerned voice.

"Im fine," Spike said, as he ran his hands down his face before dropping them back to his sides. "Look, Buffy, there's something I need to show you."

"Okay…" Buffy stated as she looked at him. Honestly, she was more concerned about his random outburst than what he had to tell her. She wondered if it was his chip by the way he grabbed his head.

"But I can't," Spike said slowly. "It's big. It's really big…and I don't think you can handle it. Not yet at least."

Buffy scoffed. "Okay, I'm leaving."

Spike's eyes grew large as he looked at the now standing Buffy. "Slayer?"

"What Spike?" Buffy spat as she turned around and faced him.

Spike didn't reply but motioned towards her with his hands. Not using words, Spike made it clear he was confused by her sudden desire to leave.

"You really are a pig." Buffy hissed as she shook her head.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" Spike yelled back at her.

"You got something really big to show me?" Buffy questioned as she placed placed both hands on her hips. "But you don't think I can handle it?"

Spike shook his head in confusion as he looked up at Buffy. Within an instant, the lightbulb lit in his brain. "Where is your bloody head today Slayer?"

"Where is your's?" Buffy replied as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Not the same place as you…" Spike replied as he shook his head fiercely.

Buffy gave him a look of disbelief.

"I'm supposed to have the dirty mind Slayer, not you." Spike said as he leaned back on the couch.

Finally, Buffy dropped her hands to her side. "Then what?"

"I have something," Spike made sure to take time and correct his words. "To tell you…to show you, whatever love. It's a big _deal…_and I don't want to stress you out with it."

"Ohhh…" Buffy replied as she looked around the crypt. She did her best to fight against a blush. She felt stupid. Then again, every other word out of Spike's mouth was a sexual innuendo. It really wasn't her fault.

"Some other time…" Spike said as he stretched his arms over the back of the couch. "And you're welcome for the Coke."

Buffy's eyes continued darting around Spike's crypt. Having nothing better to say, Buffy corrected Spike. "Diet…"

"Same diff Slayer," Spike said.

"Okay…" Buffy said, shifting her weight from foot to foot.

"Okay…" Spike said as he stared at her.

After a few seconds, Spike tilted his head and looked at Buffy. "Don't you have vampires to kill or-"

"Right," Buffy said in haste. Deciding not to rely on words, as they had been betraying her recently, she nodded her head. Spike raised on hand a few inches of the back of the couch in a casual wave. Turning his attention to his favorite show, Spike jumped when he heard the door slam harder than usual.

"Bloody hell woman!" Spike yelled, "If you break that door you're fixing it love!"


	4. Irony

Spike had spent a large majority of time in his crypt in deep thought. The more he pondered, the more Spike realized and figured out. However, there were things no amount of thinking could help him understand. For one, he couldn't grasp the meaning or reasoning behind the visions. He didn't really believe he was clairvoyant. Furthermore, he had received warnings about potential pitfalls and what he could expect from the witches. None of these warnings or precautions said anything about him being able to see in the future. Well, honestly it was the past. Still, they had not told him anything about being able to see things he wasn't present for the first go.

The list of unknowns went on in Spike's head. The list of problems he had yet to solve was also long. He continued to train, and he no longer let his severely overmatched victims escape. Truthfully, there were horrors and evils the world needed rid of. Still, it was beyond cat and mouse anymore. His massive jump in strength, speed, agility, and basically every measurable physical attribute would help with things like Glory. Anymore, Spike honestly felt he was more God-like than Glory. Spike wouldn't stand a chance in Glory's hell dimension. However, Glory was just too human when she was sharing a body with Ben in this dimension. Unfortunately, things like Joyce's rapidly approaching aneurism weren't solved by the fact he was now "super" Spike.

Things were still complicated. Regardless, Spike had time to think and realized one truth. He couldn't lie to Buffy, or the Scoobies forever. He had to pace himself. He had to take small steps, but he eventually had to tell them about the things that changed about him. The obvious things he had to tell them was about his nonexistent chip and his now existent soul. He could figure out how to explain the truth, or how not to. Still, he had to take baby steps. As he grew the trust and relationship between Buffy and himself, Spike would have to slowly open up to her.

**Sunnydale, 2001**

Spike grew anxious as he waited for the bartender. Looking through the crowd, he saw Buffy sitting alone like before. Looking harder, he managed to pick out Xander and Anya on the dance floor. "Looks just as awful the second time," Spike muttered to himself in regards to Anya's pink dress. Spike was brought back to reality by the sound of his beer hitting the countertop. Spike quickly handed the barkeep his money.

As he approached Buffy, Spike took a deep breath. "Bleeding crime is what it is." As before, he sat his beer on the small table and sat across from Buffy. "Jacking up the bar prices to fix up this sinkhole. Not my fault the insurance doesn't cover troll." Spike held his breath as he waited for Buffy to reply.

"Geez," Buffy started. "If it isn't Spike, our friendly neighborhood vampire."

Spike scoffed. Her mood was about as chipper as before, but at least she wasn't blatantly telling him to leave again. This was a test he could actually gauge. His conversation went horrible with Buffy before, even when he attempted to be nothing but nice. She was already responding better on the second go, but Spike wanted to see to what extent. Spike wanted to keep their conversation as close as possible.

Thinking for a second, Spike finally said, "I have half a mind to find a new hole in the wall, especially since the flowering onion got remodeled right off the menu. It was the only thing this place had going for it."

Spike stared at Buffy. Her body language wasn't as cold, but her response was the same. "What are you doing Spike?" Before Spike could think of a response, Buffy continued. "I mean…what are you doing here?"

"I thought we were talking buddies now Slayer." Spike replied, taking the words out of Buffy's older mouth. "And I saw you alone. I thought you could do with a bit of company." Spike turned his attention towards the dance floor. Once he spotted Xander and Anya still dancing, he turned his attention back to Buffy. "Unless your social status is so blimey high you can only talk to me in my crypt where no bloke will see us."

"Spike," Buffy replied in a slightly agitated voice. Spike waited for further amplification but there was none.

"So sorry Slayer," Spike replied as he stood up. "Didn't realize that reformed vampire was the bloody same as band geek in primary."

Before Spike got far, Buffy grabbed onto the arm of his coat. "I guess that makes me a cheerleader then, huh?"

Spike met eyes with Buffy and offered her a small smirk. "Sit," she said.

Spike did as he was told. Shifting his weight in his seat, Spike rested one leg on top of the other. Spike replied to Buffy's rhetorical question once he took a swig from his beer "Definitely not a cheerlead love. You're the Slayer. That's more like the cute girl who beats the boys at ball."

Buffy shook her head as she let out a short laugh. Smiling briefly, Buffy crossed her legs. "Is that so?"

"Yeah love, not that it's an insult or-"

"Hey uhh, evil dead you're in my seat." Xander said as he approached.

Spike turned his head to look at Xander. "Right then," he replied.

Even though Spike knew he should leave, he didn't take the opportunity to exit. He quickly grabbed his beer, and moved to the opposite side of the table. Sitting beside Buffy, Spike made brief eye contact with Xander but refused to look at Anya.

"Spike, what are you doing?" Xander questioned in a clearly annoyed tone.

"Ain't it obvious mate?" Spike replied. For further emphasis, Spike grabbed his beer and held it up slightly in Xander's direction.

"Okay," Xander replied. "And there are plenty of seats at the bar."

"That there is…" Spike replied as he stared fiercely at Xander. After a few seconds, Spike opted out of the staring contest as he brought his beer to his lips.

"Whatever," Xander spat as he rolled his eye.

Spike made brief eye contact with Anya and rolled her eyes. He was trying to say "you're boyfriend is an asshole" with body language, eye contact, and facial expressions. Anya stared at him blankly as Spike twisted his lips into an even bigger frown. Still, Anya did nothing as she stared through him.

"Spike," Anya in an curious tone as she leaned forward in her seat. Xander looked over at his fiancee as Buffy looked over at Spike. As quickly as possible, Spike shot his eyes down to beer in his hand.

"Spike?" Anya repeated.

"What love?" Spike muttered, meeting eyes with Anya for half a second again. As quickly as before, Spike took a swig of his beer and returned his eye sight to his lap.

Without warning, Anya got up from her seat and approached Spike. When she was directly in front of him, Anya bent her knees to kneel in front of Spike. Spike turned his head and avoided the first few attempts Anya made at looking in his eyes. Buffy stared at Anya and Buffy with a confused look. "Anya, what are you doing?" Xander questioned in a concerned voice. Finally, Spike gritted his teeth as anger boiled up inside of him.

"Bloody hell woman!" Spike spat as he stared directly into Anya's eyes. "What?!"

Spike was panicking. Deep down, he hoped that Anya was only able to see his soul last time because she has returned to her demon state. Spike knew he was only hoping and bargaining with powers that were never fond of him in the first place.

Anya's eyes grew wide as she moved more of her weight to the heels of her feet. "Oh my God!" Anya exclaimed as rose to her feet. "Oh my God!" Anya continued with excitement.

"Shut…up!" Spike spat as he got out of his seat. Less than a foot was separating Anya and himself as Spike continued staring at her.

"How did you do it? I can-"

"Not again!" Spike spat, as he shot his right arm out in front of him. Xander barely had time to duck as Anya flew past him and into a table behind the group.

"Spike!" Buffy screamed as she jumped out of her seat.

Reacting only on instinct, Xander hopped over the table as he grabbed Spike by his shirt. Spike grabbed Xander's hand. Before Xander could react, Spike twisted his body and arms to his right and sent Xander flying into the wall. Quickly, Spike made his way past the table and seats. As he approached, Anya finally rose to her feet.

Spike intentionally held back, not wanting to hurt Anya, but still threw a right jab at her face. Slightly surprising Spike, Anya caught his punch with her left hand as she prepared to swing her right. Before Anya could retaliate, Spike threw a straight kick into her abdomen. Spike stood silently as he watched Anya crash back into, and over, the table nearest to them.

"Spike!" Buffy screamed from behind him as she grabbed his arm and turned him around. Spike sent his free hand smashing into Buffy's face as she stumbled over the chair Xander and himself had been sitting in. As Buffy crashed through the table, Spike contorted his face into a pain expression, quickly starting to regret his actions. "Ohhh…" he muttered, but it went unheard by everyone.

Spike glanced around as he saw everyone in the crowd looking at him. He had a hard time looking at Buffy, who was the first to get back to her feet. Turning his attention behind him, he saw Anya slowly getting to her feet. Turning back around, he saw Xander struggling to stand back up.

_Spike shook his head as he snapped himself out of thought. _

That option was a bad one. It resulted in him physically hurting people he loved or cared about, even Xander to some extent, and had a higher probability for a dusty ending than he liked.

"How did you do it? I can-" Anya started before Spike cut her off.

Grabbing Anya's closest arm, Spike leaned forward until Anya and his own upper body were almost touching. "Yes, I have a soul." Spike whispered when his mouth was only an inch from Anya's ear. "I don't know how in bloody hell you can tell but you can!" Spike's whispered became somewhat of a growl as he continued. "I will tell you whatever you want woman…but do not bring this up now!"

Anya moved her head back a few inches to look into Spike's eyes. Self preservation came to mind when she saw the look in Spike's eyes. Spike look petrified and nervous, but he also looked as if he might rip her limb from limb if she didn't change the subject. Chip or not, Spike could probably get the job done before he got hit with an excruciating migraine. "Okay…" Anya whispered back.

Buffy swallowed back hard as she looked from Anya and Spike to Xander. She expected Xander to feel jealous or uncomfortable, which he did as he slowly stood up from his seat to match Anya and Spike. Buffy neglected to allow jealousy to register in her brain. The only thing she could be feeling was residual jealousy from Xander. In fact, the reason she slightly wanted to punch Spike in the face also had to be because she felt bad for Xander. That was the only possible explanation.

Not knowing what else to do, Spike turned and walked quickly towards the exit of The Bronze. He wanted to run, but he wouldn't allow himself. Buffy or Xander on a chivalrous and jealous streak were more likely to follow behind him if he sprinted away. Spike did his best to avoid eye contact, even though everyone was looking at him.

Thanks to enhanced hearing, Spike was still able to make out Xander saying, "What was that about?" Spike slowed down briefly. Once he heard Anya make up and excuse and change the subject he returned to his escape. Without giving it a second thought, Spike passed by male and female patrons alike. Spike focused in as he saw Ben staring at him from his seat against the wall.

Quickly, Spike knelt down in front of him. He needed to leave. Regardless, he wanted to make his point known. Not making eye contact, Spike looked towards the door. "Sorry mate."

"Uhhh…" Ben stuttered as he looked around in panic. "Sorry for what?"

"You are a nice enough kid." Spike paused as he finally looked directly at Ben. Standing back up, Spike put his closest hand on Ben's shoulder. "But the whole…I house a hell god inside of me doesn't bode well for you mate."

Ben shrugged off Spike's shoulder. Staring up at Spike, Ben's eyes held a mixture of anger and fear. Still, he couldn't form word and couldn't find the strength to move from his seat.

Spike gave Ben an insidious smirk. In half a second, Spike had his hand wrapped around Ben's neck as he pinned the young doctor against the wall. With little to no exertion, Spike held Ben against the wall as he looked him up and down. "When I strangle the life out of her…well, both of you mate…I just want you to know it's not personal." Spike stared at Ben for slightly longer than necessary as he held the grip against his throat. Knowing the limitations of the human body, Spike let go and allowed Ben to crash back into his seat with a few seconds to spare before he became unconscious. Satisfied with the look of terror on Ben's face, Spike focus returned to his retreat away from Buffy and the gang. He let out a deep sigh as he walked into the night air and left the bar. He felt bad for the kid really. Still, he didn't feel too bad. He was just rather lucky slaughtering him this early would cause unknown consequences.

**Australia, Early 2008**

"I feel disgusting!" Faith yelled in the direction of Spike, who was about twenty feet in front of her.

Spike rolled his eyes. Turning around quickly, Spike exclaimed, "Will you stop? It's not that bad!"

"Bullshit Spike, I need about nine showers, now!" Faith spat back as she rested both hands on her hips.

"First of all," Spike started as he took a step towards the Slayer and pointed his hand towards her. "Quit acting like a prissy girl!" Spike scoffed. "The shoe doesn't fit. It's hot as bollocks yeah, but it's definitely cooler now than it was during the day."

"I don't care!" Faith screamed as she cut the distance between Spike and herself in half. "I'm done with this!"

"Ughh!" Spike screamed as he threw his hands out to his side. "You think I'm enjoying this. Yeah, you've been along for the ride for a while…but before you joined up…" Spike took another step towards Faith. Tripping over an uneven patch in the desert dirt, Spike regained his balance before continuing. "I had to go all the way back to sodding Africa, which didn't help! Then, i had to go to New York, just so Willow could tell me she couldn't help me and to go to bloody London. Now, I'm on another sodding goose hunt…and the bloody bitches still haven't told me if they can even do it or not!"

"Just stay," Faith said in a low voice.

"What?" Spike replied in a harsh voice. Spike took another step towards Faith as he closed the distance to a few feet between them.

"What are you even going to do Spike?" Faith replied as she looked up and meet eyes with her friend.

"Oh, figured the like," Spike said as he shook his head. Spike knew he wasn't the most intelligent being in the world, but he knew without a doubt where Faith was going. "I already-"

Faith cut him off. "Get back with the Slayer? Look, I get it, okay?" Faith's voice held a hint of compassion mixed with disapproval as she stared at Spike. Faith shook her head before she continued. "It doesn't matter! You know how it ends…even if you change things. It ends up with you dead and Sunnydale a big hole! The only other endings are much worse!"

"It doesn't have to end that way." Spike replied as he stared at the ground. All of a sudden, the lightbulb clicked as he snapped his head up to look at Faith. Spike's eyes grew wide as he recognized the betrayal from Faith. "You're trying to stop me…aren't you love?"

"You go back," Faith started as she pointed her right hand out in a random direct. "On some get the girl, save the world mission. You change things…even the wrong way a little…and the whole world's hell! Not just LA Spike!"

"Bloody hell!" Spike screamed as he spun his body around. After a few seconds of pacing, Spike returned to his previous position in front of Faith. "You think I don't get that love?"

"I didn't-"

"You didn't have to," Spike replied. He knew what Faith was going to say. He would feel creeped out, but they had been traveling the globe and spending entirely too much time together as of late. "Listen love," Spike continued, "I just want to do things better, that's all. I know I can't go back and tell Buffy I love her, I got my chip out, and I got a soul all at once! I know I cant go back and just jump into the Hellmouth and try to kick the First's ass when it's years-"

"When are you even going back?" Faith questioned.

"What?" Spike spat, more in confusion than anger.

"If we can even get what we need…**WHEN** are you going to get sent back to?"

"I'm done." Spike said in a definitive tone.

Faith grabbed onto Spike's arm as he began to turn around. "What do you mean?"

"I don't need your help," Spike said in a low voice. Spike made eye contact with Faith as she dropped her arm back to her side. "I appreciate it love, but I'm doing this one way or another." Again, Spike held his hands out to his side for effect. "Unless you want to dust me."

Faith rolled her eyes as she looked off into the wasteland all around them.

"And you know what?" Spike continued, "We keep sitting here and arguing…the sun will do the same thing. I don't got time for this pet."

Again, Faith rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms.

"Well," Spike unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt to expose his chest. Faith gave Spike an angry stare. After a few seconds of silence, Spike nodded his head. "Right."

"Spike!" Faith yelled as Spike began walking away from her.

Spike didn't look back or reply.

"Spike!" Faith screamed again. Jogging to catch up to Spike, Faith yelled. "You know it would be a lot easier! You're a pain in my ass."

Spike turned around to find Faith directly in front of him. He let out a small laugh, knowing Faith was talking about staking him. "It would be a lot easier."

Faith nodded her head as she rested her hands on her hip. After a second, Faith gave Spike a stern look. "We going or what?"

Spike smiled at Faith. "Yeah…and I promise I'll get you ten showers when we get back pet."

**Sunnydale, 2001**

"Spike," Dawn said in an irritated voice. "You're totally zoning out."

Coming back to reality, Spike only caught the tail end of Dawn's statement. He knew she was interested in the story. He knew Buffy would walk through the door at any moment, and that was also the reason his mind kept wandering. "Sorry niblet."

Dawn nodded and smiled at Spike. She shifted her weight underneath her, readjusting her body weight on top of the granite coffin. Spike knew by the way Dawn stared at him she wanted him to continue the story.

"Right so ummm…" Spike swallowed back hard as he thought he heard a sound. Letting out a short sigh, Spike tried to relax and continue the story. "I got real quiet…and I heard a little sigh."

Again, Spike's eyes wandered towards shadows on the other side of his crypt. Last time, Buffy was leased than thrilled that Dawn was hanging out with him. Sadly, he prayed the conversation would go as badly as before. Things between Buffy and himself were improving. Still, he was changing the past and Buffy was extremely protective of Dawn. Assuming that without a doubt he would escape with nothing more than a harsh tongue lashing from Buffy was dumb. He wouldn't leave himself vulnerable. Buffy had a track record of finding enjoyment from using his face as a punching bag.

"Spike!" Dawn exclaimed as she threw her hands out to her side.

Spike jumped at Dawn's outburst as she brought him out of his own reality once more. Before he had the chance to apologize, Spike heard the door to his crypt swing open and slam shut. "Bloody hell," Spike exclaimed as he jumped down off the coffin.

Buffy appeared as quickly as she had before. "Spike I need your help! Dawn is…here." The panic immediately fell of Buffy's face as she looked between Spike and her little sister.

"Spike was just telling a story." Dawn quickly explained as she turned to look at Buffy. "And he was just at-"

"What the hell is this?!" Buffy spat at Spike as she stepped in his direction.

"Quicker than last time love." Spike replied in reference to how quickly she cut off Dawn.

"Buffy," Dawn started as she hoped down from the coffin and landed a few feet behind her sister. "What is y-"

"Shut up!" Buffy yelled without looking towards Dawn. Turning her attention back towards Spike, Buffy picked up her train of thought. "I swear to God Spike," Buffy said seething with anger. "If you ever come near my sister-" Buffy gave up on her threat as she changed her focus suddenly. Turning around to face her sister, Buffy grabbed Dawn's arms as she gave her a serious look. "Listen to me Dawn. Go outside and wait."

Spike continued staring at Buffy even though she wasn't facing him. Spike shook his head as a mixture of worry and confusion hit him simultaneously. Buffy was overreacting more than last time. He really had cursed himself. This occurrence wasn't identical or almost identical to the first time, it was somewhat similar with a more angry Buffy.

"Buffy!" Dawn screamed back. "Quit acting like this. Spike was just telling me a-"

Dawn's words fell on deaf ears as Buffy silence her. "Dawn," she screamed, her protectiveness and worry coming out as anger. "Go outside and wait, now!"

Dawn rolled her eyes and let out a scoff. Looking away from her sister, Dawn shook her arms free of Buffy's grasp and crossed them over her chest. When she had thought of something rude to say to her sister, Dawn looked back towards Buffy. Dawn's eyes grew as she saw Buffy pull out one of her stakes. Spike took a step back as he saw the look on Buffy's face and readied for an attack. He really had cursed himself.

"Buffy," Dawn exclaimed as she grabbed onto Buffy. Immediately, Buffy shook free. Buffy gave Dawn a stern look as she reiterated herself. "Go outside…and wait." Unlike before, Buffy didn't scream at her sister. However, the seriousness in Buffy's tone made up for the volume.

"No, I won't let you!" Dawn screamed as she started crying. The hormones of a 14 year old girl mixed with her sister about to kill her newest crush made Dawn immediately break down. "He's harmless Buffy!" Dawn continued before Buffy could interrupt. "And he helps out…he's a good vampire!" Dawn continued with haste when she saw the look her sister was giving her. "For real Buff. Angel had his soul and Spike has his chip. It's the same thing! He's-"

"He doesn't have a chip." Buffy replied in a low voice as she looked from her sister to Spike. "Not anymore…"

Spike was unable to reply as he stared at Buffy. At least now he had an explanation to why Buffy was acting this way. Still, Spike wasn't sure why. The only thing he worried about was Anya running her mouth about his new soul to everyone. Clearly, Anya did not considering Buffy wouldn't be seconds away from staking him.

"Ahhh…" Spike mumbled only loud enough for himself to hear as he remembered the previous night. He really should have strangled the life out of Glory's little puppet. Without a doubt Ben had ran to Buffy, hoping to turn her against him to save his sorry ass. Without a doubt, Buffy believed Ben and deducted that a chip was no longer in his brain.

Finally, Spike was able to close his jaw and form words. "I can explain." Spike said as he held his hand out in front of him.

Dawn eyes darted between Spike and Buffy. "He doesn't have-"

"The vampire that hurt Ben last night," Buffy said as she stared at Dawn. "It was Spike."

Simultaneously, both females stared at Spike. Spike twisted his face in frustration for a brief second. Next, he let out a sigh. "I said I can explain Slayer. Besides, I barely left a scratch on-"

"Enough," Buffy spat at Spike, refusing to let him continue rambling.

"Ummm…" was al that Dawn could manage as she took a backwards step towards the door. Taking a few uneven breaths, Dawn finally decided to listen to her sister. "I'll go outside and wait."

Buffy and Spike stared at each other, remaining motionless. Once they heard the crypt door slam, Spike took a small step towards Buffy. "Don't do it love." Spike said as he stared at the stake in her hand.

"Why not?" Buffy questioned with no emotion in her voice. "I knew it was just some game Spike. It's always some plot with you."

"Bloody hell! It's not some plot. You want to talk about plots Slayer? Then go talk to Ben…or Glory." Spike spat out.

Buffy shook her head at him. "What…what do you mean?"

"They're the same bloody person Buffy." Spike retorted. "You don't know it yet…and Glory worked some little…" Spike let out a sighas he raised his hand and wiggled his fingers. "Hocus pocus to make any human that sees them change forget…"

Buffy remained motionless as she broke eye contact with Spike briefly. The intensity of the stare was too much for her.

"Being that I'm all undead and such love…the little spell doesn't really affect me."

A few seconds of silence passed. Spike begged Buffy with his eyes to understand. Finally, she took a small step closer. Spike could tell Buffy was letting her guard down. Regardless, she was still unsure and her grip on the stake hadn't loosened.

"Are you serious?" Buffy questioned.

"Yes," Spike said as he refused to break eye contact with Buffy.

Buffy stared off at the nearest wall. After a moment, she looked back at Spike. "Then we should go find him."

"As if," Spike stopped speaking as he let out a scoff. "It was dumb…he's bunkered down somewhere now hiding like a little school-Wait!"

"What?" Buffy questioned in a confused voice.

Spike's jaw literally dropped as he stared at Buffy.

"What?" Buffy asked again.

"You believe me!" Spike replied with a smile on his face.

With stake still in hand, Buffy crossed her arms as she took a step towards Spike. "Should I or shouldn't I Spike?"

"You should pet."

"Then," Buffy said slowly. Shaking her head from side, Buffy let out a sigh. Looking back up at Spike, she finished her sentence. "I don't know why…but I believe you."

Spike nodded his head. "Ok…" Spike shot Buffy a small smile which she didn't return. After it began to grow awkward, Spike let the expression fall of his face. "Right then, so we should start-"

Buffy cut Spike's words and advance off as he took a few steps towards her by uncrossing her arms and raising the stake.

"Easy Slayer." Spike said quickly as he raised his hands up in defeat.

"That's not the problem Spike."

Spike kept both feet planted as he stared at his love. Spike closed his eyes as he let out a grunt. "It alway comes back to the chip."

Buffy's face remained stoic as she replied, "This time yeah."

His deep thought sessions came in useful as Spike immediately started to lie. "Buffy, Ben and Glory share a body. That's the main reason she's here…not…there."

Spike paused for a moment to gauge Buffy's reaction. It was still unreadable yet Spike could tell she would allow him an attempt at an explanation.

"Even when Ben is…Ben…he's not human. He's no different than a demon…he still has her evil inside of him."

Buffy raised her chin up as she looked at Spike. "Kind of like…how a vampire is really just-"

"Just a human with a demon inside of it?" Spike said as he attempted to finish Buffy's statement. "Yeah it is."

"I was gonna say a body with a demon inside of it." Buffy replied.

Once Spike realized Buffy's was done talking he rolled his eyes. "Right…because I'm not a human being…I'm an evil, evil thing right?"

Buffy dropped her head. Unsure of the reason behind it, Buffy sidestepped the insult to Spike he set himself up for. "I understand…you can hit Ben because he's not human. Not completely at least?"

Buffy waited for a reply from Spike. However, Spike refused to look at her. "Right Spike?"

Spike let out a deep breath. She believed his lie. His plan had worked. He was going to completely avoid the chip and soul subject, silence Anya by hopefully answering her questions, and wait for the perfect time to tell Buffy.

Spike raised his head and made eye contact with Buffy. "Right?" Buffy asked again, growing concerned and worry by his delays.

Again, Spike dropped his head. Even if he swore Anya to secrecy how long would it last? That woman was over a thousand years old but kept a secret worse than a five year old child. Furthermore, when was the perfect time to start telling Buffy the truth? It didn't matter if there was a perfect opportunity, which there probably wasn't, this was probably the best opening he was going to get. He didn't know how Buffy would react to the soul. He knew she would react badly to the chip being removed. He could just tell Buffy she was the one that had it removed. However, she wouldn't believe it and it would only confuse her.

"Spike!" Buffy exclaimed.

"I don't have a chip." Spike replied as he looked up at Buffy. "I'm not going to lie love. It's gone."

Buffy's voice got caught in her throat as she stared at Spike. Instinctively, the stake in her hand returned to a more suitable position for an attack. In a low voice, Buffy managed to say, "I knew it."

"You had to know sooner or later Buffy. Why not now?" Spike said.

Unsure of what to do, Buffy remained silent.

"Either way…you're the Slayer. You're gonna do what you think is bloody right…what you have to do…" Not looking up at Buffy, Spike grabbed his shirt with both hands as he raised it over his head. Throwing it down to the floor, Spike cautiously took a step forward.

Buffy knew what Spike was doing. "Stop!"

Spike didn't listen and before Buffy knew it he was less than a foot in front of her. Grabbing her right hand, Spike maneuvered the stake until it was touching his chest. Looking deeply into her eyes, Spike pled his case. "If you think you have to do it…I can't stop you. I'm telling you love…I'm not a threat and I'm bloody serious."

"I will do it. What, you don't think I will?!" Buffy replied tightening her grip on the stake that rested on Spike's chest.

"I didn't say that pet. I said I'm not going to stop you and-" Spike's words froze in his chest as she raised the stake. Spike jumped as the stake approached. Spike let out a breath as Buffy stopped the stake only an inch from his chest.

"I-I…." Buffy stuttered as she maintained eye contact with Spike.

Spike could no longer think. Like usual, his only thought and concern was the woman in front of him. Buffy dropped the stake as Spike grabbed both of her upper arms and crashed his lips onto hers. Buffy's eyes grew but quickly fluttered shut. In less than a second, Buffy's mind fighting the kiss was overpowered by her bodies' will to mold to Spike's and deepen the embrace.

Spike released Buffy's arm from his grasp. His right arm naturally landed on Buffy's hip as he wrapped his left arm around her back. Buffy let out a moan as she broke the kiss for an instant to breath. Just as quickly, Buffy reinitiated the kiss as she moved both hands up and grabbed Spike's neck.

Spike landed on the ground, in the seating position as his back rested against the coffin. Slowly, Spike pulled himself out of the indent he had made in the coffin as granite chunks fell of the coffin that broke during the impact. Leaning forward, Spike let out a grunt of pain as he grabbed his side. After a few seconds taking note of his relatively minor injuries, Spike looked up at Buffy.

Buffy stood there motionless as she held her right hand up to her mouth. It didn't take much for Spike to tell how confused Buffy was from the look on her face. Buffy opened her mouth as she attempted to speak. Regardless, no words came out. Spike watched as Buffy turn and ran out of his crypt.

Spike let out a sigh as he leaned back and rested his body against the damaged coffin. Spike recounted the last few minutes in his head. Finally, he shrugged as he let a small smirk fall on his face. Thinking back to a rather erotic dream from years prior, Spike laughed at the similarities between the two. The inner poet that still remained in him could appreciate the irony. Spike slowly got to his feet. Taking a few steps forward, Spike bent down as he held his side. Picking up Buffy's stake, he put it in his pocket.


	5. Holy God

**A/N: Short chapter, but better than nothing. I've been ridiculously busy with work and travel lately. Hope you guys enjoy this. Review and let me know what you guys think. Hopefully the next update will be more timely than this one. Thanks, Trim59.**

Spike stayed in his crypt the night Buffy left. He was too busy pacing back and forth across his cold crypt as his mind raced. Regardless, the visions in his head acted as satellite television. Surprisingly, when he saw Dru get dusted by Buffy in a random, dark alley, he felt relief. It was crazy what having a soul, morals, and true love for someone else could do. Dru was evil, and dead. Deep down he felt pity. Still, he was somewhat relieved and joyed that Dru met her end before she added further to the victim's list. He was happy that Buffy finally freed her from her own living hell Angelus thrust on her.

Over the next few days, his condition did not improve. Spike tried to watch television. It didn't work. Spike went out a few nights to kill vampires. It didn't help. Luckily, Spike managed to avoid Buffy and all members of the Scoobie gang during his rounds. Spike knew that Buffy wouldn't come back to his crypt. He was a little surprised he wasn't dusty at this point. The next move was on him and it had to be a cautious one.

Spike realized something. This whole time continuum thing was stupid. Spike, somewhat like a normal human being, couldn't tell you what unfortunate animal he had for breakfast the previous day. How the hell did he actually think he could remember everything that happened and the sequential order? Maybe, that was why he had these visions.

It was Tuesday afternoon. Tonight he was supposed to be getting thrown through a window by April, the other sexbot. He refused to go. The exchange between Buffy and himself had went horrible before. This time he imagined it going even worse. The more important thing on Spike's mind was tomorrow was Wednesday night. The night he gave Warren the pictures and clothing of Buffy. He hadn't actually missed the opportunity like he previously thought. Regardless, he knew he would be too busy. He had to be to busy. He had to get Joyce to the hospital. Otherwise, she died tomorrow afternoon.

Even worse, Spike had an extremely busy schedule. There were a few things he had to do this evening, and he had to get to the Magic Shop. Luckily, this time he wouldn't be thrown out on his arse by Giles. Spike also doubted Buffy had de-invited him this time. At least, Spike hoped he still had an invite to the house. Kissing Buffy wasn't as bad as holding her hostage, admitting his love, and feasting off humans with Dru. Truthfully, he prayed that he had the invite. He would test it out tomorrow and being able to access Buffy's house would help considerably.

**Sunnydale, 2001**

As before, Spike saw the door to the shop opening as he sprinted towards his destination. "Coming through! Coming through!" Spike screamed. Once he had managed to put his blanket out by stomping it on the ground, Spike looked up at the group.

"Hello all. What's going on then?" Spike questioned as before. Spike swallowed back hard as he saw the look of panic on everyone's face. Even worse, Spike witnessed Giles slowly withdraw the stake he had on him. Spike cursed himself internally. He really hadn't thought this one through. Without a doubt, they already knew via Buffy that he no longer had a chip in his head.

Spike's eyes scanned across the room as he looked for his best chance for an escape. Hearing a sound from behind him, Spike turned his head. He narrowed his eyes as he saw Buffy, refusing to make eye contact with him, walking up the small staircase.

"Buffy?" Spike questioned. "Aren't you supposed to be taking care of Warren and his little robot right about now?"

Spike knew something was wrong. For the first time, Spike was caught unexpected and didn't like not knowing his environment.

"Already did…" Buffy muttered, unable to keep eye contact for more than a brief second. "How did you know?"

Buffy's question fell on deaf ears as Spike looked towards Giles. "Look mate, I can explain!" Spike exclaimed as he pointed his hand out at Giles, completely ready to admit he had a soul no matter how badly he didn't want to. His secret being out was better than a stake through the chest. "Yeah I got my c-"

"Spike." Buffy whispered as she grabbed Spike by his closest arm. "They don't know."

Narrowing his eyes, Spike stared at Buffy longer than necessary. When he finally looked back towards Giles he already had his stake out of sight. It was a defense mechanism, Buffy really hadn't told them.

Looking back at Buffy, who had finally removed her hand from his arm, he whispered, "Why didn't you tell them love? I mean I'm grateful and all…"

"Not now Spike, please." Buffy whispered back. Spike followed Buffy's eyes and noticed she was staring at her friends. Next, Spike noticed how they were staring back at Buffy and himself. Spike didn't really feel like putting Buffy in a more awkward position.

"Right." Spike replied as he gave a small nod.

Giles and Xander's words overlapped as they both asked similar versions of, "Spike, what are you doing here?"

"Right," Spike started as he stared at the group. "I know you all hate me and the lot. So i'll get out of your hair quick…I just have to speak to Buffy for a minute."

After a few seconds of silence, Xander crossed his arms over his chest. "Okay, speak here. In the company of good friends and pointy weapons."

Spike let out a scoff as he threw his hands out to his side. "Blood hell! You're not supposed to say that yet." Spike paused as he shook his head. Looking down at the ground, he continued muttering, "You guys hate me more now…sodding figures. Your witty one liners start getting out of order…next thing you know we burst into song and dance. Bullshit."

"What are you talking about?" Xander questioned.

At the same time, Willow asked, "Bull…bullshit? Do you say that?"

Looking at Willow, Spike replied, "I can." Next, he replied to Xander. "Nothing don't worry about it…"

Trying to stop the conversation before it became more hostile, Buffy quickly reached out and gently tugged on Spike's coat again. When she gained his attention, she asked, "Alone?"

Spike nodded towards Buffy, then towards the small staircase. Once they both got down the stairs, Spike heard Giles from behind him. "Spike,"

"Bloody hell Rupert!" Spike said as he turned his head toward the Watcher. "Two minutes…and I'll run away on flames."

"What is it Spike?" Buffy asked when they stopped moving. When she turned to face Spike he could see the fear and nervousness on her face.

"I need you to do me a favor Buffy…" Spike trailed off as he grabbed something from his pocket. Next, he placed the small wad of money in her hand.

"Are…you bribing me?" Buffy asked, her voice holding a mx of confusion and anger.

"No," Spike replied as he let out a grunt. "Hold on…" Buffy listened as she watched Spike return to digging in his trench coat. After a moment, he pulled out a folded piece of paper. Without saying a word, he placed it in Buffy's hand along with the money.

"What is it?" Buffy asked in a confused voice. Quickly, she shot her eyes up to her friends by the door to make sure they weren't eavesdropping. They were too far away to hear the conversation, but Buffy could clearly make out the concern on their faces.

"It's a recipe…it's for a spell." Spike trailed off waiting for a reply. When he didn't receive one, he continued, "Please Buffy, I need you to grab all that stuff from here…and when you are done…" Spike did the same thing Buffy did as he quickly looked back towards Xander and the rest of the Scoobie gang. "Give it to Tara to give to me?"

More than one question came to mind as Buffy hit Spike with a barrage. "What kind of spell? Why Tara? Do you remember last time what-"

"Yes," Spike said in an angry voice, knowing Buffy was talking about the time he kidnapped Willow.

Buffy placed both hands on her hips as she looked at Spike. She wanted an explanation.

"I can't tell you the spell…but it's important." Spike said as he stared into Buffy's eyes. "It's not bad…if you don't believe me have Tara get the things with you. She'll be able to tell if all the things on that list can be mixed up to create something nasty."

Concern grew on Buffy's face.

"Which they don't," Spike replied quickly. "They can't. The reason I want Tara is well…she's the only one beside you that treats me decent. Probably cause the lucky broad didn't see me at my worst."

Buffy nodded her head, accepting Spike's assumption as probable.

"And well," Spike nodded his head in Willow's direction, "Willow didn't have the best experience working with me on a little magic last time."

In a clearly sarcastic tone, Buffy replied, "You don't say."

Spike let out a sigh as he looked at the ceiling. Hearing footsteps behind him, Spike realized her friend's were coming down the stairs. "Please love, it's important."

Slowly, Buffy nodded her head. Spike smiled at Buffy. Next, he threw his blanket back over himself and left in his normal fashion. Buffy was happy that Spike didn't bring up what happened in his crypt. It was a mistake. It was better if it was never brought up. Still, a part of her felt like how teenager girls did when the guy who promised he would call didn't. While short, Buffy had spent a good 15 seconds making out with him, and Spike didn't even give her a compliment or say "good job". She couldn't help but think maybe she shouldn't throw someone off a coffin if she wanted a compliment. Buffy shook her head and cleared her mind of thoughts. She refused to act like a regular teenage girl, not again.

**London, 2008**

Spike and Faith both leaned their back against the walls of the small room. Looking around, they watched as the small group of witches lit the candles. Next, they began stirring in ingredients to the pot in the middle of the circle. Spike noticed as they added a few of the ingredients it took Faith and himself weeks to find.

"Funny," Spike said as he readjusted his back against the wall. Faith looked over at Spike as he brought her out of thought. Still staring forward, Spike finished his statement. "All my times around witches and I've never actually seen a cauldron used."

Faith didn't reply. Still staring forward, they both watched two of the witches continue to light candles. Spike's shook his head. He was used to seeing maybe half a dozen candles make a barrier around a spell when Willow performed magic. This time, there had to be close to a hundred candles.

"Overkill on the candles, eh pet?" Spike said in Faith's direction. "It's like a vigil in here."

Faith shook her head as she let out a small laugh. Removing her back from the wall, Faith stood upright. "Maybe that's the point…if this spells backfires they have all angles covered."

Spike's jaw dropped as he stared at Faith. Mirroring the Slayer, Spike stood upright. After a moment, he managed to share a laugh with Faith.

Taking them both by surprise, one of the witches appeared in front of them both. Looking at Spike, she said, "It will be ready in a minute." Spike nodded. Without hesitation, the witch turned around and went back to her preparatory work.

Spike looked at Faith when he felt her eyes on him. Faith offered a smile, but it quickly faltered as she looked towards the ground. "So…this is it…" Spike took a step forward and placed a hand under Faith's neck. Spike dropped his hand back to his side when he noticed the glossiness in Faith's eyes.

"Are you alright love?" Spike said in a concerned voice. It was not like Faith to get emotional.

Faith let out a deep breath as she scanned the room. Fighting back some stinging at the corner of her eyes, Faith looked at Spike. "I need to quit getting a soft spot in my heart for Big Bads… about as bad as Buffy needed to quit dating vampires."

**Sunnydale, 2001**

Opening the door to Spike's crypt slowly, Tara took a deep breath. Once she was inside, she managed to let out a pensive, "Hello?" Tara froze in her tracks as Spike came around the corner. A big smile that came across Spike's face eased Tara's mind a little. Still, Tara didn't have the courage to begin descending the stares.

"You should already know pet," Spike said. "I can't bite."

Tara let out a small laugh as she stared at the ground. Finally, she found the courage to enter Spike's crypt.

"I ummm…got your stuff…" Tara said as she tried to avoid eye contact. "What is it?"

"I'll tell you," Spike said slowly. "If you promise you are actually going to stay and help me do the spell."

Tara swallowed back hard as she stared at Spike. "Deal…as long as it isn't black magic or anything destructive."

Spike nodded his head. Due to wanting to commence as soon as possible, Spike was blunt. "It's like a conscious….memory sharing spell thing…"

"What?" Tara said in a shocked tone. She had never seen or heard about a spell like that. She knew that were spells for everything and anything, but she was still taken back slightly. "Where did you find the spell?"

Taking a step forward, Spike replied. "From a friend, well actually he's a slimy, little lizard that will get his…but in due time pet."

Taking Spike's words on Doc as more of a joke, Tara replied. "Oh…"

"How did you not know what the spell was?" Spike asked. "I thought witches could look at any ingredients and know what kind of spell it is?"

"No way," Tara retorted, "There's tons of spells…and tons of spell I don't even know about like this one."

Spike nodded in understanding.

"Besides," Tara continued, "I haven't even been around magic that long…" Tara broke eye contact with Spike briefly as she began to take in his crypt. "But…I had a feeling it wasn't a bad spell…none of the ingredients seemed like they would make something volatile…"

Spike didn't reply but nodded his head. As usual, Spike offered Tara one of his Diet Cokes, to which she politely declined.

**Sunnydale, 2001**

"To be honest," Tara said in a low voice, "I don't know if it's going to work. You being a vampire…and not alive…it just might not work."

Spike could easily sense the nervousness in Tara's voice. It was expected. He knew that Willow must have told her about her own experience helping him with magic. She was more comfortable than when she first came, but Spike could still tell she wanted to run. Luckily, all of that would change if this spell worked.

"It's okay…really." Spike said in the nicest voice he could manage. "I just have to try…"

Tara nodded as she let out a deep breath. "Okay," Tara said as she motioned for Spike who was standing a few feet away, "You have to sit with me for this to work."

"Inside the candles?" Spike questioned. Tara nodded her head. Spike scanned the set-up before him. Not that physical contact could be weird with a lesbian, but he didn't really feel like having to touch knees with Tara. "Can I make more room…or with that mess up all the witchy mojo?"

Spike let out a sigh as Tara shook her head.

**Sunnydale, 2001**

Spike felt awkward at first. It didn't help when Tara made him flatten his palms, put them on top of her own, and close his eyes. Furthermore, the constant mantra of Tara saying, "Just relax." was having the opposite effect. It was silent besides the meditation sounds that came out of Tara's mouth. Internally, Spike cursed himself. He watched enough spells be performed in his lifespan. More often than not, there were words that needed to be said to perform a spell.

Spike was about to give up when he felt something change. It was slight at first. The only feeling that compared was when he had something to say, but forgot what it was. It felt like every train of thought he ever had was being forgotten, even stolen. After a few seconds, it got more intense. Spike could barely think about how odd the sensation was as it seemed like his entire memory bank was being erased.

Startled, Spike snapped his eyes open as Tara let out a borderline scream. "Holy…shit!" Tara managed as she scooted back and knocked over a few candles behind her. Before Spike could react, Tara slid back a few more feet. Spike began to stand as Tara did the same.

"Holy…God!" Tara exclaimed as she turned her body towards Spike, then away again.

Tara continued to turn pace back and forth without covering much ground. Taking a step toward Spike, she met eyes with him. "Oh my god, Spike!" Just as quickly, she turned back around. "Oh my god!"

Spike let out a sigh as he placed his hands on his hip. "Bloody hell woman, you sound like Anya."

Tara spoke immediately, but with no intent on answering his question. Like usual, Tara's slow rate of speech returned as she tried to dissect everything she had just witnessed. "Buffy…then the soul…then Buffy again…and then everything…Buffy...Oh my god!"

Spike smiled as he crossed his arms over his chest. "So I'm guessing it worked."

Tara shook her head. "Uhhh, yeah. Wow…who would have thought? When are you going to tell B-"

"I'm not," Spike said in a stern voice. Taking a step towards Tara, Spike swallowed hard. "If it worked…you saw everything pet. Buffy can wait…she's not going anywhere and neither am I. You know what I need you're help with…and I need it now."

After a brief pause, Tara nodded. "Buffy's mom…"

It was more a statement than a question, but Spike nodded his head regardless. "Yeah…"

Tara nodded her head. Next, she returned to her previous statement. "And time travel? Wow…"

"Yeah…" Spike muttered.

"You really love her…you really aren't an ass-"

"Yeah," Spike replied again, this time in a annoyed voice. "So, are you going to help me with-"

"Yes, I'll help you." Tara said before Spike could finish. "Of course I'll help. We could actually save her this time…this is amazing Spike."

"Thank you." Spike replied.

Tara nodded her head. "We will figure it out…we can think of a plan in a little bit. But you can't honestly drop something like this on a girl…and not expect to answer my questions."

Spike let out a short chuckle as he dropped his eyes to the ground. It worked. He had another ally. He needed another ally. All he had to get through now was about a thousand questions.


End file.
